WTF Wednesday- All My Favorite Shows are Getting Axed

I'm about done with television. I know I spend too much of my time watching it as it is, but when my favorite shows start getting cancelled, I'm thinking it's either a sign from above or a personal vendetta against me- one or the other.

"Witches of East End" RIP (Sigh)
Pic Courtesy and Article

First it was "Manhattan Love Story." Apparently this show got cancelled before I even started watching it this past weekend. I was laying in bed, recuperating from our Halloween garage walk-through, wanting to just lose myself for approximately 22 minutes. Cue "Manhattan Love Story" on Hulu.

Cute. Funny. Let you into the inner thoughts of men and women during the dating process. Unique, and I fell in love immediately.

Only to find that the 4 episodes on Hulu were the only 4 episodes that were ever going to air. That show got the ax back on October 24th. Well damn.

Then it was "A to Z," an adorable account of one couple's relationship "from a to z." It had the mom from "How I Met Your Mother" on it, so I figured it would work out and be a hit among HIMYM fans.

I was wrong. That show got the ax, too, but at least they are allowing the remaining episodes to air.

Then my friend tagged me in an article on facebook about how "Witches of East End" had been cancelled after 2 seasons.

WTF!! NOT "WITCHES OF EAST END!!" NOOOOOO....

That show is amazing. It's so cheesy, and so far fetched, that you HAVE to love it. And the cast is

WTF Wednesday: Ryan Gosling- The Newest DILF on the Block

Now *that's* the dream- Ryan
bringing me coffee. Yes, please...

I've never kept my love for Ryan Gosling a secret.

He's only been mentioned a mere 13 times in various posts on my blog. That's not overkill, is it? (You can read my favorite posts mentioning Ryan Gosling here, here and here.)

So, imagine my surprise today when I found out that he is now a father!!

Yep, Eva Mendes hid her pregnancy for the last 9 months and gave birth to a baby girl Gosling last Friday.

I'm happy for the couple, I am. And excited to see how beautiful that baby has to be.

But I have to admit, my heart is a little broken today.

Thanks, sweetheart...

My blog has had ups, downs, reinvented itself several times over, has gained readers, lost readers, gone viral, sat dormant, been shared like a $2 whore, and has been a home to people who enjoy finding the craziness in motherhood, just like me.

Through all of that, Ryan Gosling has been an Inklings constant.

And now he's a father; one of the largest changes a person can go through. I fully welcome him into the craziness that is parenthood, and now label him as a DILF.

Yep, I just went there.

Ryan Gosling is now a father, and I'm not his baby's mama...

Definitely my biggest WTF moment of this week...



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WTF Wednesday: Snooze Button Shenanigans

I'm not a snoozer. When my alarm goes off, I get out of bed and start my day. Every once in a while, if I slept for crap, or if we have to get up super early for something, I'll hit the 5 minute snooze one time, and then grumble and scramble for coffee when it goes off again.

YESSSSS!!!  Pic Courtesy

Not Hubby. He's a snooze-hitter. And we aren't talking hit snooze once for 5 minutes- he'll set his snooze for 10 minutes and hit that damn button 3 times before his feet hit the floor.

Which makes his new shift a complete bitch to me.

On a "normal" day right now, I'll get up at 6 (if The Girl has morning volleyball practice) to start my day. Hubby's new schedule has him needing to be at work at 6.

In my world, if I had to be at work at 6, I'd set my alarm for 5 and be good to go. Not Hubby. Not Hubby at all. He sets his alarm for 4:30.

4 effing 30 in the morning. I don't even think the world exists at 4:30am. Do you know what 4:30 looks like? It's darker than the 7th circle of Hell and damn sure feels like it.

Then, he hits the snooze button for 30 minutes. 30 effing minutes, and gets out of bed at 5.

Meanwhile, I'm awake at the first chirp of his alarm at 4:30. Am I able to roll over and regain unconsciousness like he does?

Oh hell no. I'm awake, wide-eyed and far from bushy-tailed, ready to punch anything within arm's reach.

Which is Hubby.

With his new schedule, I knew this would happen. I knew he'd hit snooze for 30 minutes and then fall out of

WTF Wednesday: Standards of Learning BS Wastes My Child's Time... Again!

I am one of those moms who is completely opposed to this Standards of Learning/ Common Core bullshit they teach our kids in public schools now.

I even researched homeschooling my kids this year, I was so fed up. After much debate, Hubby and I felt that the social interaction and sports, clubs and extracurricular activities were worth the kids staying in school, and that I would just work with them on things at home that I felt they needed to know (like Latin, which we started last week). Plus, The Girl is in a self-contained, accelerated program at her school, and we've never had a problem with it.

Until this week.

Standards of Learning must rear their ugly heads at some point, right?

Last night, we got home from her volleyball game, and she had a bit of math homework. She understands fully that she must keep up with her schoolwork while she plays sports, and understands the consequences if she doesn't (she can't play sports). She fully accepts all of this.

I noticed her getting frustrated with her math. She'd been working on it for about 15 minutes when she declared, "Mom, I've only done 3 problems, and I still have a ton to do! This is taking forever, and I don't get it!!" 

I asked her if she didn't understand how to do it, and she replied, "No, I understand it, but it's stupid. I don't understand why I have to do it." 

The Mom came out in me, and I started with, "It's not stupid, it's just difficult. Here, let me help." 

Then I took a look at it. That crap was stupid. There's no other way to say it.

I took pictures, so you can see for yourself (click on them if you need to make them bigger):

Questions 14-17 are the ones we are focusing on today. The Girl's instructions from her teacher, were to

WTF Wednesday: This Randomness is My Life

This past week has just been one of those weeks. I think I was on auto-pilot for most of it.

The joy of that is that you all get a random post of shit that went down, as today's WTF Wednesday post; a list of 10 things that just made me scratch my head.

And yes, this was all in the last week... or two maybe (since I didn't do a WTF Wednesday post last week)?? My days tend to blur all together.

These are in no particular order. Random stuff, random days.

1. My dog ate dark chocolate. Apparently, that's the worst for dogs. I was picking The Girl up from school, Hubby was getting ready for work, The Ginger was outside playing, and Ariya was digging in my purse to consume my Lavender Blueberry Organic Dark Chocolate bar that costs me effing $3 each at the health food store it takes me 15 minutes to get to. The puppy is fine; no adverse reactions. And I'm now out of my favorite chocolate.

2. I've seen shit that makes me want to NEVER drive in Tucson again. A few days ago, it was the lady in front of me who, at every stoplight, hit herself in the head 4 times. It took me a few stoplights to pick up on the pattern, and then I had to seriously question my sanity for picking up that there was a pattern. Today, I watched the guy next to me at a stoplight hold his hand about 3 inches from his face, yell and scream at it, then give himself a huge bear hug as the light turned green, and drove on. Not sure how long he and his hand had been fighting, but I'm glad they got it under control so he could focus on the road again.

3. I helped a friend move, while in flip flops. Yeah, that was stupid. 10 minutes after getting there, I skinned off the top layer of one of my toes. You'd think I would have learned from my past of breaking pinky toes and ripping out a toe nail while moving a changing table once. Nope. After the skinning, I did go

WTF Wednesday: Courtesy Flush and Mail Call- Two Stories for the Price of One!

I had this whole WTF Wednesday post planned out, and then today hit. I have had one of the craziest days ever.

So, you get two stories in one post today. Yes, both of these happened today, and yes, they both completely true.

I say it a lot, but I couldn't make this shit up if I tried...

WTF Story #1: Courtesy Flush... Please?

Ha!!

I've been doing a detox for the last 3 days, which means lots of water and smoothies. I have to pee about 57 times a day, and usually at the most inopportune times, like when I'm running errands. I headed to the grocery store and bolted for the bathroom as soon as I walked in the doors.

I'll paint a little bit of a picture for you- not a huge grocery store, which means there wasn't a huge bathroom. 3 stalls, 2 or 3 sinks- that's it.

I do the pee dance into the bathroom, where there's a cart full of groceries sitting outside, so I do expect to see another person in there. What first catches me off guard is that the person is in the stall, but there's one-sided talking going on. What catches me off guard second is the fact the person was in the middle stall. Not as huge of a deal as it is with a dude taking the middle urinal out of three (according to Hubby, that is), but I'm one to head for the furthest from the door.

So, I throw myself into the first stall (still doing the pee dance), and I realize that the woman is on her phone. Okay, whatever, I've peed on the phone, too. My best friend back east and I take baths while we're one the phone with one another; it's all cool. I squat to... do my business... and...

WTF Wednesday: Two Sentences Flipped Our World Upside Down

If there's one thing that's true about military life, it's that it never stays the same.

Three and a half weeks ago, we were moving to Japan in October. This week, we're staying in Arizona.

Our world, flipped upside down by an email that Hubby received with just 2 sentences:

This is to officially notify you that your assignment is cancelled. Reason for cancellation: Due to change in manning/surplus condition... and then a bunch of military acronyms and abbreviations that no one understands.

Two sentences. Dreams squashed.

I sat in disbelief and stared at the paper Hubby had printed out. Hubby drove to the store to buy cigarettes. The kids sulked. We'd all start a sentence, then stop, our words defeated by shock.

We waited to tell family until Hubby had called his contact person for the orders. They confirmed the cancellation, and we all tried to begin letting it set in.

I ran to my friend's house to process the information, because I had no idea if I was devastated or relieved, and I didn't want my family to see me like that. She opened her stockpile (yeah, I taught her how to extreme coupon, hehehe) to me, and I grabbed chips and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and just rambled through everything on my mind.

Of course I was upset; who wouldn't be upset about losing spending their last 4 years of their husband's

WTF Wednesday: If You Don't Find This Stuff Funny, You've Probably Come to the Wrong Blog...

My brain has officially fried. Shorted out. Dead.

I spent Monday cleaning and processing orders, then spontaneously passed out in a chair in my living room for pretty much the rest of the night.

Tuesday, I took the kids school supply shopping, which is comparable to walking on hot coals with your bare feet. Glue, notebooks, pencil bags for only $.50 when I just spent $1.00 at the other store... how the fuck can they be out of $0.97 colored pencils? They *just* put them on sale!! We got home and I curled up in my chair only to pass out once again.

Today I grocery shopped with the kids, which is comparable to attempting to give yourself an appendectomy, processed orders and managed to straighten the house. Here I sit, in my chair, exhausted and fighting sleep.

I'm pretty sure my kids siphon my energy. They are bouncing off the walls when Hubby gets home late in the evening. Me? I look like a cracked out, half dead Halloween prop in my chair, only instead of me jumping out when you least expect it to scare the effing crap out of you, I simply ask you to bring me a cookie, no scare in sight.

I'm emotionally exhausted worrying about this upcoming move to Japan. I'm mentally exhausted trying to get everything organized and together that we could possibly need in the next few months. I'm physically exhausted because I'm pretty sure my kids have figured out how to tap into my energy reserves and are depleting them at a rapid pace so they can stay up until midnight and run around like chickens with their heads cut off.

So today, Inklingers, for WTF Wednesday, I'm giving you mindless funnies- 10 random things that make me giggle in my delirious, brain-fried state.

If you don't find these types of things funny, you've probably ventured onto the wrong blog for you.

For the rest of you, who know exactly what you are getting here on Inklings, you're welcome. ;)

WTF Wednesday: Viral Hoaxes Suck

Inklingers, I'm tired; tired of having my heartstrings ferociously tugged on, then released into the wind with the word hoax. Then anger sets in, and doubt, and then people wonder why I'm such a jaded person who doesn't believe anything I read on the internet at all.

Pic Courtesy

A week or so ago, a news story erupted about how a 3 year old child who had been viciously attacked by a dog was asked to leave a KFC because her face was "disrupting [the] customers." I read the reports, my heart felt for this child, but something in the back of my skeptic mind started screaming.

In this day and age, with social media as it is, how quickly things go viral, and how quickly people sue after things go viral, how would an employee anywhere be dumb enough to ask a person with a physical disfigurement to leave a public place? That's a lawsuit, and worldwide embarrassment, waiting to happen.

But the child? The child, my heart bled for. The pictures were obviously not photoshopped, and no matter what happened or didn't happen, that child had a lifetime of surgeries and rehabilitation ahead of her.

Then the unspeakable happened- a few days ago, it was released that the KFC incident was a hoax, brewed up by the family to gain money from sympathizers and KFC. The family swears it isn't a hoax, but as there is no video surveillance of them entering any KFC in that area, nor is there any record of their purchase, it seems like the family pulled one over on the entire world.

KFC still agreed to donate $30,000 to the girl's surgery fund. Way to go, KFC.

Now I'm pissed... and tired. The whole KFC hoax does not change the fact that this child was disfigured in a

WTF Wednesday: Sweeping and Mopping Isn't Cleaning the House??

I'm one of those people who has to have a cleaning schedule. Why? So I make sure it gets done. I straighten my house each day, but as far as deeper cleaning is concerned, I need to know that Mondays I mop, Wednesdays I do the bathrooms, and so forth. My memory sucks sometimes, too.

But, according to Hubby, what I do each day doesn't constitute "cleaning the house."

Oh yes, I will definitely explain.

Here's a rough outline of my weekly cleaning schedule:

Monday- Straighten entire house (pick up big things, clear off counters/tables/flat spaces), sweep, vacuum and mop the floors.

Tuesday- Dust (though this usually gets done every other Tuesday).

Wednesday- Bathrooms

Thursday- Deeper cleaning of kitchen counters, bedroom, vacuum stairs (again, usually every other week on that one).

Friday- Touch up for the weekend.

Each day I do a general straightening, just so things don't pile up. On the weekends I relax, and as a result, come Monday morning again, our house looks like a hurricane hit

WTF Wednesday: Damn You, School-Like Pizza!!

Starting this blog post today is difficult, because I'm not exactly sure how far to go back, or whether to start with the nostalgia or the present day info. So, I'll do what I'd do in conversation: Throw out random words and promise I'll connect them by the end of the post.

School Pizza
and
Weight Watchers

There you go. Now we can begin, because y'all trust that I will connect the dots (la la la la la...).

I've been on Weight Watchers for about 2 and a half months now. I started out really well, lost 12 pounds in the first 2 months or so, and then took a few weeks off from point-counting to enjoy wine, cookouts and nights out with a friend who moved back to the east coast.

Let me pause for a second (in case some Weight Watchers' rep finds my blog and want to try and take me down): you can totally enjoy wine, cookouts and nights out with a friend when you are on WW. I had just already met my goal weight that they set for me, so I decided to see what I could do without tracking food each day before I set a new goal weight for myself. The result? I gained 2 pounds back and maintained that weight just fine.

YES!! This stuff!!
Pic Courtesy

So with all of the chaos of my friend leaving behind us, I decided to get back on track with WW to try and meet the new goal I had set for myself (and lose those extra pounds I had gained).

Now I'm going to jump back and take you on a trip down memory lane...

Y'all remember school pizza, right? I'm talking about that rectangle mass of cheese and mystery meat that was available pretty much every day in high school, but only on certain days (usually Friday) in middle school.

That stuff was AMAZING!!!

And, that stuff is not available anywhere to the general public. Trust me, I've looked. A few years ago,

WTF Wednesday: If a Child Cries Out for Help, Does Anyone Hear Her?

Today's WTF Wednesday post is about something that has definitely been the biggest WTF moment I've had in a while. I've already been through the anger phase, confusion phase, and crying phase, and am currently in the I Did the Right Thing phase.

I just got back from an impromptu meeting with the guidance counselor at The Girl's middle school.

The Girl is fine, so don't worry.

Last night, The Girl received a picture text from kid in her class. Now, The Girl was 4th generation receiver of this picture, meaning the original sender had sent the picture to someone, who sent the picture to someone, who sent the picture to The Girl. The picture was of a leg covered in scratch marks. The original sender claimed she was cutting herself and it felt good.

The original sender is around 12 years old. Sixth grade. That's it.

I was shocked. I looked at the picture, but was unable to determine for myself whether this was a picture of a cutter's leg, or a kid with scratches and possibly a feisty cat or dog on their hands.

Either way, it didn't matter. Whether the scratches were self-inflicted or not, this child sent out a picture to people, claiming the marks as her handiwork.

And please remember that this girl didn't send the picture to my daughter; she sent it to someone, who forwarded it to someone who forwarded it to my daughter. I honestly have no idea how many people saw this picture (which causes me to hang my head later on- you'll see), or will see this picture.

I asked The Girl to forward the picture to me, and with hesitancy, she did. When she asked what I was

WTF Wednesday: The "Cool" Mom

Tonight was The Girl's last orchestra concert for the year. She's in the Cadet Orchestra, which consists of all 6th graders, and there's a glee club and then the Concert Orchestra, which consists of 7th and 8th graders. We stay and watch all of the performances, even though the Cadet Orchestra plays first.

As I was sitting there, watching the cafeteria fill with parents, I noticed one of the 7th grade glee club members had changed her look from the last concert... in the form of having dyed her hair lavender.

My first reaction was, "What mother lets her 13 year old dye their hair purple?" (Please spare me the comments of how judgmental I was being- that thought would cross anyone's mind if they say a kid under high school age with permanently dyed crazy colored hair.) I watched the purple-haired minor walk across the room, curious to see if her mom was there.

Emma Stone looked
hella cool with lavender hair.

She was. And it caused an inward spiraling in me that I never saw coming...

The mom was around my age, covered in tattoos (complete with some small stars on her face), long bright green finger nails, tattoos on her fingers, and wearing a Star Wars hoodie.

Most people in society would glance at her, covered in her tattoos, see her daughter with the bright lavender hair, and crinkle their nose and huff in disgust, muttering, "That's what's wrong with the world today."

Me? I suddenly began to question my Cool Mom status.

I'm known as Tatted Mom. I pride myself on individuality, on my bright red hair, on my colorfully tattooed

WTF Wednesday: Beezin' and Chicken Legs are Damaging Our Kids, and Nicotine is Bad... MmmmKayyy

I spent this week bookmarking news stories that came across my news feed as potential topics for today's WTF Wednesday post.

Come to find out, a lot of dumb has happened in the news this past week.

So, instead of just one topic, you all get my opinion on 3 topics that have been flooding news feeds everywhere, in a post I'm entitling:

Beezin' and Chicken Legs are Damaging Our Kids, and Nicotine is Bad... MmmmKayyy


WTF Topic #1: Beezin'

News reports everywhere went crazy with what's being called the newest trend in teenager's attempts to catch a buzz from legal substances: Beezin'. According to reports, kids are putting Burt's Bees lip balm on their eyelids in order to get "high".

Pic Courtesy

Holy hells bells, Batman, you have got to be kidding me, right? RIGHT?

First off, what kid decided to put lip balm on their eyelids? Secondly, what kid decided to put Burt's Bees lip balm on their eyelids instead of some lip balm with 57 ingredients that we can't pronounce in it? Burt's Bees products are some of the most natural products out there, with a hell of a lot fewer chemicals in them than the run-of-the-mill skin care products. Thirdly, what kid who put Burt's Bees lip balm on their eyelids felt high afterwards?

Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Seriously.

Some rich kid somewhere was bored out of their mind and realized the all natural peppermint oil in their lip

WTF Wednesday: Sally McCrossShakeProteinTireson

I sat back and watched as these new trends in fitness started about 2 years ago. I observed, even decided to try some of them a year ago- they weren't for me. But I watched my facebook newsfeed grow and grow with pictures of before and afters that showed little change, and advertisements for various programs and nutritional supplements, and because I'm an outside observer, I seriously scratch my head at all of it.

NONE of that sounds like a good time to me...

For today's post, I've decided to combine everything that I've actually seen or heard (or been a part of, first hand), that causes me to raise an eyebrow on this subject, and have a hypothetical conversation with a person who embodies all of these new trends in fitness.

And yes, because I understand this will show up in search engines under certain key words, I do feel a disclaimer is needed for those who newly find my blog, so here goes: Disclaimer: This is a HUMOR blog. My post today is one of my opinion, and it is meant to be funny. Yes, I understand the basic concepts in nutrition, exercise, and have studied these new fitness trends of recent years, which is why I can confidently express my confusion for them in a humorous way. If you lack a sense of humor, please move on and keep your comments to yourself. Thanks.


Hypothetical Conversation with Sally McCrossShakeProteinTireson

Me: Hey, Sally. How was your workout today?
Sally: It was awesome. I flipped a tire today!
Me: You flipped a tire?
Sally: Yep. I've been working up to this for weeks, and today I finally flipped it, all by myself.
Me: You seem happy about that, so rock on! I'm glad you flipped the tire!
Sally: Me too. I never thought I'd get to today!
Me: So, you've been building up to flipping a tire?
Sally: Well, yes and no. My personal trainer has had me on this awesome muscle building routine, and our first goal was for me to flip the tire. Woo hoo!
Me: That's cool.
Sally: Yeah, I'm just glad we skipped the burpees today. The last few times I've done them, I've thrown up afterwards. Cool, huh?
Me: Not really. Throwing up isn't cool.
Sally: My personal trainer says it's perfectly fine to throw up after working out. It shows that you are pushing your body to its limits, which is the only way change will occur.
Me: So, you are doing burpees until you vomit and flipping a tire? That doesn't sound like a good time to me, sorry.
Sally: All in the name of change, baby, and building muscle.
Me: Wait, I'm confused. I thought we had a conversation months ago about you wanting to hire a personal trainer to help you lose weight?
Sally: Yeah, we did. That's when I hired my personal trainer.
Me: Are they helping you lose weight?
Sally: Well, not yet, but my personal trainer says losing weight correctly takes time.
Me: Really? I've never heard of that. How much time?
Sally: A few months, I think. Weight loss only comes after I build muscle, which will then speed up my

WTF Wednesday: My Underachieving Kid (And How They are Proud of It)

Kids hate school- I get that. Homework sucks, teachers suck, and projects? They really suck. I was once a kid. I know how it was. Hell, even as an adult, projects and homework are a tiny reason I have no desire to head back to college and get my degree. I get it.

This week's biggest WTF moment came when I found out just how much of an underachieving personality one of my kids has. And I'll tell you now, it's not the kid you think it is...

A little background, first, so you can fully embrace all that is the WTF moment:

Hubby and I are opposites when it came to school. I graduated 2nd in my class, he... graduated. When I was in the 9th grade (we didn't start dating until my sophomore year), we had an art class together, and the teacher put both of us in the same group for a group project once- I complained- heavily. I didn't want him in my group because I just knew he would bring my grade down. (The teacher laughed and didn't change a damn thing, either.) Then, a year later, we had a Criminology class together, and for some reason, there was just something new about the way he slept during class that got my blood pumping...

So yeah, me- overachiever, Hubby- slept in class.

I knew, statistically speaking, that one of our kids would probably adopt the lackadaisical personality like their father. Call it profiling or whatever, but I figured it would be The Ginger- my male offspring.

Nope. In a strange turn of events, it ended up being The Girl. My female offspring. The child who tested so high on the GATE (gifted and talented education) test that they placed her in a special GATE program within the school system.

She's currently in the 6th grade and has a few projects due, as the school year is ending in roughly one month

WTF Wednesday: #TheDigitalAge

Before we jump into this post, I need to ask everyone to do a favor for me. When you get a little more than halfway through the post, to the conversation between Hubby and I, read things like "#TheDigitalAge" as "hashtag The Digital Age" for me, so I don't have to type it all out. It makes it a hell of a lot funnier to read Hubby and I having a hashtag conversation (which is what we did), plus, it's been a hell of a week, so you're helping me out by not making me type everything so literally. ;)

Last week, The Ginger came down with strep. Exactly one week later, to the day, The Girl ends up with a fever and scratchy throat.

This, the week after Spring Break and the week after the week after Spring Break. I haven't had a moment to myself in going on 3 weeks now.

Alas, I digress.

Pic Courtesy

The Ginger loved having an extra 2 days added to his Spring Break.

The Girl is freaking out. She begged to go to school, fever and all.

When we finally explained to her why she couldn't go to school, she begged me to run by the school and pick up her schoolwork so she could do it while she was sick.

She has so much of me in her, it's not funny. I was the exact same way in school.

So after begging and pleading, I finally decided to call the school, talk to the front desk and see if The Girl's teachers could compile everything for me to pick up the next day (as The Girl would be out a minimum of 2 days).

This is the conversation with the office manager at my daughter's school, after I explained the situation:

Office Manager: Don't you have your Parent Portal log in? You can just check your daughter's

WTF Wednesday- This is NOT Mr.Roger's Neighborhood

There are 3 things I swore I'd never post about on this blog.

1. Religion.
2. Politics.
3. My neighborhood.

Two reasons are my own, one is a promise I made to Hubby.

I have to break that promise with today's WTF Wednesday post.

Hubby asked me when we moved to Arizona and on base, to not write about my neighborhood or our neighbors. Why?

"You're not supposed to shit where you eat," he said.

Well...

1. I'm not eating out there with them... or anything any people who live around me would ever cook.
2. When you are surrounded by shit, it's inevitable that shit happens.

After what happened this week, I don't care anymore. All my fucks have been given, and it's clear why I remain a hermit.

Monday evening, the neighbors decided to have a party. It started getting louder as the evening progressed and more alcohol was consumed, and as these were the neighbors on the other side of our duplex, we could hear everything- especially The Girl, whose window is right above their backyard.

So, considering I've reached out to the chick next door on several occasions (more on that later) and was never really received warmly, I made the calculated decision of how I wanted to handle the situation.

I chose to post on a local mom's online group, at around 8pm, and ask these ladies if anyone happened to have a copy of the neighborhood rules, and what time the noise ordinance was in effect.

I did this for 2 reasons that were all well thought out prior to posting:

1. So I would know what my rights were.
2. So some nosy woman on the list would inevitably tell my next door neighbor, who would realize they were being quite loud for a Monday night and be an adult about it, quieting down, and everything would have been done for me by some busybody.

I seriously overestimated the people in my neighborhood I was dealing with. Adult seemed to not be a word

WTF Wednesday: You're Doing WHAT With Your Placenta??

Placenta Encapsulation.

If you've never heard these two words together, then you're just like me... until last night.

Pic Courtesy

I was laying in bed, catching up on my social media accounts, when I saw a question posted to an online forum about where to have placenta encapsulation done.

My brain went here:

Encapsulation... encapsulate... capsule... like a time capsule? Why would someone want to preserve their placenta for a time capsule?

That's a hell of an 18th birthday present. "Happy Birthday, Ginger, here's the placenta that nourished you while you were inside of me. Hang it on the wall of your new college dorm room as a reminder that you are always a part of me." 

No. Not a creepy mom move whatsoever.

I began typing, "What in the hell is placenta encapsulation?" when I realized I could save myself some possible public embarrassment (which is perfectly acceptable on my blog, thank you) by googling it first.

My eyes popped out of my head and my jaw dropped to the floor.

Placenta Encapsulation is the process of taking the placenta, post partum of course, and having it made into pill form so the mother can take it internally.

Before I go any further, yes, a typical Tatted Mom disclaimer is needed:

WTF Wednesday: If You Aren't From the South, You Won't Get It

Talking to my best friend on the phone the other day, and she says,

"My neighbors brought by some vegetable soup in jars, so I'm sending the jars back to them full of moonshine."

Hot damn, I miss the south.

Born in Virginia (yes, we are below the Mason-Dixon line, thank you), first stationed in North Carolina, last stationed in South Carolina, and I miss the south.

• People wave at you for no reason in the south. 
• Everyone is called Hun or Darlin' or Sweetheart, even if you've never met them before.
• Bless Your Heart means something totally different there, and it's not a good thing.
• Two words: Sweet Tea.
• Neighbors bring you cookies or pies or a gift basket when you move in, partly because it's southern hospitality, partly because they are nosy and want to know where you came from.
• Friends don't let you stay depressed, or in a funk, or even give you time to yourself. They take you out drinking to get your mind off of things, and knock on your window at the ass crack of dawn if you refuse to answer your door (true story right there).
• Y'all is a completely acceptable word (a combination of you & all, for all y'all non-southerners).
• Two more words: Pig Pickin'.
• Playing in the mud with a big ass truck is a hell of a fun way to pass the time.
• The right to bear arms is heavily exercised.
• If you mess with one friend, you end up messing with them all. There's always a crazy friend, too, and