Guaranteed Friendship Deal Breakers

Anyone who truly knows me knows that I don't have the best track record when it comes to friendships. While I understand there is a common denominator in my past failed friendships (me), there is also a common theme- I seem to pick the crazies to be in my life. You can argue if you'd like, but read through the post first and then see if you still want to argue.

This topic will be divided into 2 sections: Guaranteed Friendship Deal Breakers and Tips for Finding (Lasting) Mom Friendships, each with its own post. When it comes to the Guaranteed Friendship Deal Breakers, I am pulling these directly from my past... Couldn't make this s*it up if I tried. If you ever happen to come into contact with any of these types of people or scenarios, run in the opposite direction- and quickly.

1. The VooDoo Queen. Years ago, I owned a new age store. Think fairies, crystals, herbs, tree hugging, incense and candles, and that was my store. I met this woman through the store that was a bit of a loner. We quickly became friends (seeing as I was a loner, too), and hung out every weekend. When I started

apprenticing as a tattoo artist, my schedule became crazy, and she offered to stay with the kids at night until I got off work. Things were great... until I came home and found her asleep on my couch, kids upstairs asleep, and a table covered in condom wrappers, a picture of a guy she used to date (that my kids would have recognized if they would have ventured downstairs), candles, incense, and personal effects of his, along with some of my reference books from the shop opened to love-drawing spells. Yep. I immediately hit the roof about how she just left this crap out and fell asleep, and what would she have done if my kids had come downstairs? I distanced myself from her immediately, with no reason why. Yes, bitch move, but play that scenario out in your head... would you have given this woman a reason to not like you? I think not.

2. The Gay Wizard. I love gays. Absolutely adore them. So, when one ventured into my shop one day (yes, again with the shop- you meet crazies at a new age store, let me tell you) and we ended up talking for

Morning Routine Decision: A Good One or Bad One?

I'm going to give y'all a parenting problem I am currently facing, then I'd love your opinions and feedback!!

I'll paint the picture: The kids' school starts at 7:40am. We live 1 block from the school, so the kids walk each morning. They have gotten into the habit of leaving here at 7:10 in the morning and heading over to one of The Girl's friend's houses, waiting for her to get ready, and then the 3 of them walk to school together.

Yes, this friend is the same little rude one I've been constantly writing about lately. She has control issues,

Courtesy of Healthy Vending

seriously.

In the afternoons, The Ginger comes home and complains about how long it took The Girl's friend to get ready in the morning, how they are almost late for school, and how he hates waiting on her (we have the rule that The Girl and The Ginger must walk to school together). I'll admit now that I hate that, too. I can't stand that my daughter leaves the house 30 minutes before school starts just to wait on an inconsiderate, rude friend of hers to get ready. PLUS, the friend's house is NOT on the way- they have to walk to the end of the street instead of just heading straight to school.

This morning, The Girl calls me at 7:30 on her way to school (20 minutes after she left the house, which means they waited on her friend for 20 minutes), to say that The Ginger got mad at how long they were waiting and walked off to go meet up with his friends, but he and his friends weren't walking toward school, they were just standing outside the school talking.

Okay?!?!?! And I'm supposed to be doing what about this? I asked if he was trying to skip school, and she said no. I asked if he was going to school, and she said yes. So, I totally didn't understand why she was calling me to tattle on her brother.

When they got home from school a little while ago, I got the full story, and what appears to be an every-morning thing. The Ginger gets pissed at having to wait on The Girl's friend, so he walks off (breaking our

We Are This [__] Close...

This post is going to be short and sweet. I've made the announcement a few times over on Inklings' facebook page, but realized I failed to do an actual post for those who get things delivered to their inboxes.

Inklings was nominated by the people over at VoiceBoks as a Top Mom Blog of 2013. We were one of the first 10 websites nominated (a HUGE thanks to them for the nomination), then open nominations were allowed, and now there are 50 blogs total up for the top spots. The top 10 blogs get some hella nice publicity through VoiceBoks and the title of Top Mom Blog of 2013. And guess what...

Inklings is like this [__] close to being in the top 10. This list is made up of lesser-known blogs that don't usually make the big mainstream top mom blog lists, so I'm honored that we were even nominated, much less have a chance to be in the top 10. PLUS, what I think is the coolest thing ever, this list is for content-driven blogs- NOT giveaway blogs, NOT "Here's a picture of my kid eating spaghetti, isn't he cute?" mom blogs, and it's NOT one of those 'nominate your own blog and cross your fingers' type things- They nominated ME!! These mom blogs don't really fit into a category but have actual written articles, provide useful information for the blogosphere, and are cool. =)

So, let's get Inklings in the top 10, PLEASE!! All you have to do is click the picture right up there (or right here), and you'll be sent to VoiceBoks' website where you'll see my banner. Click the facebook 'like' button above the banner and you are done! This pop up should come up, too, asking if you want to share your vote with your facebook friends, so it'd be nice if you pimped me out to them, also.

The thing is, VOTING ENDS IN 2 DAYS!!!! So PLEASE head there now (if you haven't already- it's a vote once type of thing), vote, pimp me out to your friends, and let's make Inklings a Top Mom Blog of 2013!!!

Thanks to everyone who has voted and pimped me out!!

(If you are an overachiever, you can click the banner right down below this, too. That casts a vote for Inklings on the on-going Top Mommy Blogs site, where Inklings used to be in the Top 10, but has fallen to somewhere in the 30s because I don't beat remind y'all anymore. So, click that one, too, if you'd like!)

If you enjoy Inklings, please take a second to just click the banner below. Each click = 1 vote, and you can vote once per 24 hours. I do happy dances when people vote!

#InklingsPhoto Challenge, April 21-27

Day 21: Polka Dots

Day 22: Earth Day!

Day 23: Full

Tatted Mom's Guide to Naming Your Baby

What's in a child's name? How about everything? My parents wanted to name me 'Jennifer Renee' before I was born. Somewhere along the line that got vetoed, and I became 'Morgan Cameron'. No offense out there to any Jennifers or Renees, but I fully believe that I was meant to be a Morgan, and that I'm the unique, spunky, crazy, psycho quirky person I am because I had a very strange name growing up. Morgan is quite common nowadays, but it wasn't always so.

Naming your child is the first really important decision you have to make as a brand new parent, and you wouldn't believe the number of parents who screw that decision up.

Did you know that there is a child out there named Urhines? It's pronounced 'Your Highness'. As if that isn't enough, the child's full name is Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K- that last part is the name of an illegal drug. Yeah.

Celebrities seem to be the biggest offenders nowadays. Jason Lee has his son, Pilot Inspektor, Beyonce has her daughter Blue Ivy, and while y'all know I absolutely love Norman Reedus, he named his son Mingus Lucien- a bit bizarre, even for me. As bad as it sounds, celebrities can get away with it more than the average person. No one is going to pick on Apple because Gwyneth Paltrow is her mom, but try naming a middle-class average kid 'Apple' and the teasing would be merciless.

If you are pregnant with a child now and are having problems trying to name him or her, I have some really easy things to keep in mind when making that extremely important first decision as a parent. It is a decision that your child will live with for the rest of their lives. And if you aren't expecting, this article is still full of my unique sense of humor.

1. Don't spell it exactly the way it sounds. I'm all about unique names, and unique names with under-used letters of the alphabet are even better. Xavier is a prime example of this. Cool name... unless it's spelled Ecksavier. Don't do that. Spell it correctly or don't spell it at all. Good grief.

2. Don't make s*it up. I seriously saw the name 'Crustasia' on a baby name forum one time. I'm sorry, but that sounds like something left at the bottom of a Chinese food to-go container. Poor child.

3. Don't go cultural if it doesn't suit you. Traditional Irish names, African names and Hebrew names (just

5 Parenting Pet Peeves

We all have pet peeves that drive us up the wall. Whether its things your husband does, your kids do, or complete strangers do, they make your blood boil and have you leaving the room- immediately.


I have some pretty heavy parenting pet peeves. I put this list together, not at all claiming to be a perfect mother, but to just get some things off my chest about what drives me up the wall that I see other parents do. I can think of 100 things that I do that I'm sure get on other parent's nerves, too (like let my kids speak freely of what's on their mind all the time).

I wrote this article for my column over at Parent Society, so as always, I'll start the article here and let you head over there to finish it! You can comment here or there, but let me know what your parenting pet peeves are!!

Enjoy!

5 Parenting Pet Peeves

Parenting is subjective. What works for one family may not work for another. There is no absolute right or wrong way to raise your child. With that said, every parent ends up developing a personal list of parenting pet peeves, things we see other parents do that just get under our skin. We don’t necessarily judge, especially if the child isn’t in danger, but we recognize practices or behavior that we wouldn’t do ourselves.

Here’s my personal list of parenting pet peeves:

1. Obese Children Eating Unhealthy Foods
I completely understand when a child has a sickness that causes them to gain weight, and I am sympathetic to those families. Considering that makes up only a small fraction of the number of obese children in the world, the rest of the obesity cases I blame on the parents. A child at the age of 3 or 4 does not know about nutrition and eats what he is given. This, in turn, makes obese children a parenting problem. If an adult wants to eat unhealthily and not exercise, then it is their right to do so; poisoning a child who doesn’t know better is just wrong, and a horrible parenting practice.

Teaching...

Continue Reading 5 Parenting Pet Peeves...

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Why are Kids So Rude Nowadays? Why? What? Why?

Every mom, at one point or another in motherhood (or 2,346 points), feels that they sound like a broken record. "Clean your room", "Do the dishes", "Don't leave your socks and shoes in the middle of the floor." 

Didn't I just write about rude little kids about a month ago? Kids with no upbringing? Attitudes coming out of their bums? Good grief, I'm sounding like a broken record here, but I have new information to voice my opinion on.

Yesterday the kids and I had to run some errands when they got home from school. We hadn't even left the

neighborhood before The Girl's cell phone rang. All I could hear was her side of the conversation, that went a little something like this:

"Yeah, I can't right now because I'm out with my mom, but when we get back, I can go outside."
(Talking on other end, which will be represented by ... for the rest of the conversation.)
"Well, we have to go to the post office and then to the grocery store, so I don't know."
...
"My mom has to mail some things out."
...
"She has like this online store and she had some orders."
...
"I don't know, a picture thing and some gemstones."
...
"Well, she has to mail them out to the people who bought them. Look, when I get home I'll come

A Mom's Bookshelf

Ever wonder what books moms acquire after having children? Look no further...

No, these aren't real books, but this is my way of making all you moms out there smile for today.

Enjoy, and share with other moms you know (hint- there's a 'Pin It' button for Pinterest at the end of the post, as well as facebook and twitter sharing buttons)!

If you enjoy Inklings, please take a second to just click the banner below. Each click = 1 vote, and you can vote once per 24 hours. I do happy dances when people vote!

#InklingsPhoto Challenge, April 7-April 20

Day 7: Lucky #7

Day 8: Inside My Car

Day 9: Music to My Ears

Day 10: Paper

I've Been MIA, But...

... I think it involved aliens. Pretty sure. I blacked out and woke up in a field, naked, and my ass was... nevermind...

Ariyah

Or, just life. Life happens sometimes. The facebook fans know we got a puppy over the weekend. So, I'm back to getting up in the middle of the night because of a whimpering little one. In fact, I've spent the last 3 nights on the couch just to make it easier on myself. Our bundle of joy, Ariyah, has to have constant human contact, and as I don't feel like having her pee in my bed just yet, I just sleep on the couch with her at my feet. Makes bathroom time at 3am easy, as we are 12 feet from the back door. So far she's been great, and I've been functioning on 6 hours of sleep broken into 2-3 hour segments. Fun.

So, I guess now it's "Kids, Cats, Coffee and Tatts... and a Puppy". I'm not even a dog person. I don't know how this happened. I saw her, fell in love with her, and she's now ours. Curls up with me when I want to be lazy, is happy to see me whenever I walk into the room, is my little shadow. And I adore it.

When I'm not smothering my new baby with loving, I've been making things for the Etsy store, hella cleaning (thanks to finding out on my new fitness app that house cleaning, for me, burns almost 200 calories an hour. Now carrying baskets of clothes up and down the stairs and dusting doesn't seem so damn bad), cooking and watching "Breaking Bad". Yep, Hubby got me started on yet another amazing show... bastard.

And through all of this, I have been MIA from the internet. Hell, even my best friend asked me the other day

$40 Tribal, Tasteless Color Tattoos, and Comments Calling Me an Elitist, Spoiled A-Hole (A 'Letters to Tatted Mom' Segment)

Every now and then, a negative comment or email comes along that I need to reply to.

Today is one of those days.

A few days ago, I had an anonymous comment left on my post 10 Things You Should NOT Do When Going to Get a Tattoo. With its incorrect grammar, spelling errors and disrespectful tone, I moved it to my spam folder and went on with my morning. It remained in the back of my head, and after talking to Hubby and a few friends about it, I decided it was time for another Letters to Tatted Mom segment.

So, without further ado, this will be a longer post, but completely worth it when you get to my reply to this guy below. First is his comment to me, unedited and in all its glory, and below that is my reply to him. I hope this guy ventures back onto the site to read my reply to him... seriously.

[Dear Tatted Mom]

LOL..sounds like a typical snooty, spoiled, a-hole w/ no idea how business works or how to run one--i'm guessing you don't own the shop.

i agree w/the no brainer logistical tips here, but half of the stuff here is naive & just plain elitist garbage.

have you ever thought of the fact that the $40 guy's location just might be bad? or that he's trying an

Uncommon Goods Review and $50 Gift Certificate Giveaway (Ends 4/19)

When I was emailed about reviewing a product from Uncommon Goods, I was pretty happy about it. I had here and picked something out that I was dying to try.
heard of the website before, so reviewing one of their products was something I had to do. I looked through their list of great Mother's Day gifts

I picked out the Salts of the World Test Tube Set because we've really gotten into healthy eating at my house, and I'm really enjoying cooking with fresh ingredients. It was filled with salts from places like the Island of Cyprus (black flake salt), Denmark (Viking Oak smoked salt) and Australia (Murray River Pink Flake salt). Displayed in a solid cedar rack, each tube is glass, keeping the salts fresh.

The salts and display also came with a card that let me know which salts matched with which types of meat,

Helpful Rag Mags and Full Circles

Everything ends up coming full circle in my house one way or another. That's about the only intro there could possibly be for this post; it's one that just needs jumping into. I will set the stage, however.

Not us; Stock photo from NIAAA Publications

Hubby and I are in the kitchen making dinner, The Girl is on the sofa flipping through the latest US Weekly magazine, The Ginger is floating in and out of the room acting as Link from Legend of Zelda, fighting off bad guys with an imaginary sword. We have an open floor plan so the kitchen, living room and dining room are all one big room.

And yes, this all really went down a few days ago. I couldn't make this s*it up if I tried.

The Girl: Hey Mom, did you know that they are saying Justin Bieber is about to have a breakdown?
Me: Whatever. Justin Bieber couldn't have a breakdown if someone choreographed it for him.
The Girl: That's what this article says (holding up the US Weekly magazine).
Hubby: Seriously, nothing good comes from reading those magazines.
Me and The Girl (at the same time): Whatever.
Hubby: I'm serious. Can either one of you tell me the name of the Vice President?
The Girl: Some old white guy...
Me (scrunching up my nose): Umm.... Biden???
Hubby: Did you just ask me or are you telling me?

My Rockstar Experience

Every once in a while we get to feel like rockstars in our life. Maybe it's a promotion at work and everyone

is applauding for you. Maybe it's an awesome dance contest you win at a club.

And maybe it's depositing $92 into your bank account that does it. Hell, that's all it takes for me, at least.

Today's post about My Rockstar Experience is a guest post over at The Wild and Wonderful World of Gingerssnaps. I got to know this chick through The Inklings of Life, which is one thing I love about the blogosphere- "meeting" new people all the time. She also posts in the #InklingsPhoto Challenge every week, so I get to see a glimpse into her life while she's reading all about mine over here at Inklings. A huge thanks to her for asking me to guest post!!

So, without further ado, head over to My Rockstar Experience at The Wild and Wonderful World of Gingerssnaps and see how $92 made me a rockstar and how I had lunch with Angelina Jolie- okay, not really, but read and you'll understand.


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10 Things You Get When You Have Your Kids Wash Dishes By Hand

If you ever want to know what is absolutely the most horrible, gut-wrenching, painful punishment you can give to your children...

It's washing dishes by hand.

The kids have a few chores in our house- clean their rooms, bring me their laundry, take out the trash and the recyclables, and do the dishes. We have a dishwasher. We have a functioning dishwasher. We have a functioning dishwasher that has been loaded incorrectly by children for a month now. They continuously put something over the center section of the bottom rack so that the water can't get from the bottom of the dishwasher up to the top rack. Every single time they do this, the dishwasher makes a funny sound that apparently only I can hear.

Me (hearing the funny sound): Did y'all load the dishwasher correctly?
The Girl and The Ginger: Yeah.
Me: Whatever, go check it.
The Girl: But Mom, it's done right.
Me: No it's not.
The Girl: How do you know?
Me: Because I'm the Mom, that's how. And, it's making that sound that drives me up the wall.
The Girl (upon opening the dishwasher to see the water is blocked): Oh. My bad.

This went on for about a month until Hubby and I couldn't take it anymore. So, we did what we felt we needed to in order to remedy the situation:

We made the kids start washing the dishes by hand.

What do you get when you make an 11 year old and an 8 year old wash dishes by hand when all they've ever known is a dishwasher?

1. Whining, crying, groaning and my personal favorite- anger. They get angry at you for making them wash dishes by hand when it's because they didn't load the dishwasher correctly for over a month that this happened. Funny how that works, isn't it?
2. After the 45 minutes it takes to have the dishes washed, you find that you still have dirty dishes.
3. Dishes with water spots on them... lots of water spots. Why? Because they think washing is all that doing the dishes entails.
4. The following conversation occurs every single day: "When will we be allowed to use the

#InklingsPhoto Challenge, April 1-April 6

Day 1: Jokes & Smiles

Nothing makes The Ginger smile more than playing video games.

Day 2: Diamond or Crystal

Day 3: My Favorite Color

Adorable Baby Shower Idea: A Personalized Baby Blanket for a Baby Boy

Everyone knows that the cuddling and snuggling during the fall and winter leads to the birth of summer babies, so I'm sure you can think of a person right now who is expecting a child in the next few months. Consider heading to BabyBlankets.com for a unique baby shower gift for them!

When I first came across their site, I was blown away at how absolutely adorable their items are. They don't just carry baby blankets, but hand knitted booties, hats, stuffed animal rattles (a favorite!), and baby essential items like burp cloths, diaper changing pads, and hooded towels.

One of my favorite products was their personalized baby blankets for boys. Pictured above are the Bearington Silky Soft Crib Blankets which look amazingly soft- so much that while the age range says 0-24 months, I might be buying one for myself (don't judge me). You can also get receiving blankets personalized,

Grand Opening of Inked Goddess Creations- My New Etsy Store!!

I've been talking about it for some time, and now it's here! The Grand Opening of my Etsy store, Inked Goddess Creations is today!! Y'all know I'm artsy and love to make things, so I decided I'd put my crafty side to use and share my handmade goodies with the world.

The major motivators for me putting my stuff out there for the world to see were the miniature clay figurines from the Cozy Coffee Cottage line.

I kid you not when I say that I dreamed about these little babies one night- clay figurines and name of the whole line- everything. Couldn't make that up if I tried. So, when I woke up, I jotted down notes and got to work. The first one I made was the "Leaning Tower":

These aren't dollhouse miniature sweet goodies- they are smaller than real donuts but bigger than dollhouse

5 Reasons (From the Past 2 Days) That I Should Not Be Allowed to Interact with the Outside World Before Coffee

Everyone who knows me knows I'm a coffeeholic. I'll have a huge jumbo cup in the morning, a midmorning

cup, an afternoon cup, and sometimes a cup of decaf at night. I don't even drink water unless it has been ran over some coffee beans at a high temperature. Yes, I know it isn't healthy, yes I know it's an addiction, but considering I don't smoke anymore, don't do drugs and drink wine on occasion, I need a vice, dammit.

With that said, I've found out, just in the past 2 days, why I need to have a coffee IV inserted and should not have interaction with the outside world until I've had at least one cup.

5 Reasons (From the Past 2 Days) That I Should Not Be Allowed to Interact with the Outside World Before Coffee

1. I ran my own credit report. Yes, before I had coffee and the brain cells functioning to tell me that would be a horrible idea. Nothing says "Good Morning" like finding out the lawyer you talked to a few years ago about the mountains of debt you are in because of a store you owned that went under, should probably retire and no longer give advice on money. He told me the statute of limitations on credit debt in South Carolina was 3 years, so I've been counting down to 2013. Come to find out, the statute of limitations on credit debt is based where the home office of the company is located, and Yay Me, they are all located in states where the statute of limitations is 6-7 years. How's that for a morning wake up? Now I have to actually do something about all of this crap, which means finding a lawyer who wasn't practicing law when Abraham Lincoln was president.

2. I gave a telemarketer my consent to have other telemarketers call me. The other day I was

Or, On Second Thought...

Almost 14 years I have been married to Hubby. We've been together for 16. After this long, there are some

days that I have to continuously repeat to myself,"You love this man. Your life sucked without him. You love this man. You can not go to prison for murder."

This morning's conversation was a prime example of the above.

Me: Honey, I'm tired of my clothes not fitting. It's time for me to get back to MILF status. I don't want to be this frumpy housewife anymore.
Hubby: So do it.
Me: I will, thank you. (I turned around to see Hubby playing a game on his phone.) You don't care one way or another, do you?
Hubby: Not really.
Me: That's true. You'll bang me no matter what, huh?
Hubby: Sure.
Me: Holy crap, you aren't even paying attention, are you?
Hubby: Yes. MILF status. Bang you.
Me: Ok, good. The Girl is going to be at that age in a few years where she has boys over, and I want them to look at The Girl and say, "Hey, your mom is hot," not because it would mean anything, but just to know that I'm a hot mom, you know?
Hubby: Or, on second thought, you could take one for the team and make my life easier in the long run.
Me (confused look on my face): What do you mean?
Hubby: Well, if a guy wants to know what a girl is going to look like in 20 years, he just looks at her mom. So, if you are all hot and a MILF, then we'll have guys lining up at the door to date The Girl. If you go ahead and get really fat and gross looking, then no one will want to date her, saving me a lot of time and effort scaring them away.
Me: Umm.... no. 

I love this man. My life sucked without him. I love this man. I can not go to prison for murder.

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