See, What Had Happened Was...

I'm a bad blogger. It's as simple as that. Life got crazy... I went crazy... and blogging just fell to the wayside. I had ideas. Oh, man did I have ideas. But I just never found the time to take those ideas and put them into writing. So, many of them are now expired ideas. Like, who wants to read about how we accidentally became a Trader Joe's family because of Pumpkin Spice Coffee, which I bought like 2 months ago? No one. No one wants to read that old shit now. Now it's peppermint mocha everything, so my pumpkin spice story is just... old.

So I can recap. That's about the best I can do for right now, until I get my mojo back, find a little more of my sanity, and force myself to sit down and type away at this computer... which so far, has been quite cathartic... already... after just a paragraph and a half. Hmm... I might be on to something again...

In the past few months:

• The Ginger turned 11. I now have an 11 year old and a 13 year old... who constantly reminds me that in 4 months, she'll be 14. And then I have wine. Because no. Just no. I'm not the mom of an 11 year old and an almost 14 year old. Because that would mean that on my birthday, I'll be turning 35. Nope. More wine it is.
• I went crazy. Did y'all catch that above? I actually did mention it in the beginning stages in a blog post, Being Crazy Sucks. Since then (y'all ready for this roller coaster? Fasten your

12 Things Overheard at Our House During Halloween

Halloween is a favorite holiday of most of the people in my house- me especially. We usually go all out, either all dressing up to take the kids trick-or-treating, or, as in recent years, setting up a home haunt to scare the trick-or-treaters. This year is no different, and as we have been planning for an Alice in Horrorland set up for the yard, many of the things that have been said would cause an outsider to raise an eyebrow.

These are actual things said at one point or another over the last few weeks! You know it's our favorite time of year!!

1. Me: A bag of flesh? Would that be good?
The Girl: That would be perfect!
Me: For only $19.95, too? Hells yeah... Wait. They are sold out. Dammit!

2. Me: Is this hedgehog okay, or does it need more blood?
Hubby: It looks bloody enough, babe.

3. Me: Be a boxer, please!

Hi. My Name is Morgan, and I'm a Morning Person

My eyes popped open at 6:45 this morning... on a Saturday. All it did was remind me of a recent conversation Hubby and I had- one that I think I have to finally admit as the truth.

Me: I think I'm a morning person.
Hubby: (bursts out laughing) Are you serious?
Me: What?
Hubby: Are you just now figuring that out?
Me: What's that supposed to mean?
Hubby: You've been a morning person for years now.
Me: (in complete denial, shaking my head) No I haven't been.
Hubby: (still laughing) Yes you have. And you definitely still are one.
Me: NO I'M NOT!! I HATE morning people. They're all perky and "Hello, morning! How amazing is this day?!" and shit. I am NOT a morning person. I don't want to be a morning person!
Hubby: (still laughing) Baby, you're a morning person. You wake up at the ass crack of dawn, make coffee and immediately start working. And, you can't stay up past 10 at night. You are a morning person.
Me: I just like the quiet in the morning, thank you. And I like my sleep at night.
Hubby: That makes you a morning person.
Me: Shut up!
Hubby: (still laughing) I can't believe you are just now figuring this out.
Me: Shut up!! I don't WANT to be a morning person, dammit!

I've fought it for days now, since our conversation. Every time I come up with a logical explanation,

You Know You're Raising Your Teenager Daughter Right When...

We ventured to the local water park this past weekend, in an attempt to squeeze in a little bit more of our summer. When we got home, wet clothes came off, a shower was taken, and comfy clothes went on- that's just how it goes, right?

The questionable tank top.
And I thought the most offensive thing was
my crazy lazy day hair...

Well, since my girls (you know, the two below my chin) had been cooped up in a bathing suit all day, it was time to let them free. I showered, found a comfy pair of palazzo pants and a tank top with a built-in bra, and was very at-ease.

It just so happened that the tank top was from Victoria's Secret. Back in the day, when I was a tattoo artist who relied heavily on tips, my wardrobe was a bit... questionable. I purchased these tank tops then, with a plunging neckline, and it helped with my bottom line... feel me? Since leaving the tattooing world and becoming a work-at-home mom, those tank tops got lost in the back of my closet somewhere... until this past weekend.

I came downstairs, Hubby on the couch, The Girl playing on the computer. She turned around, took one look at me and said:

"Whoa, Mom. Put those away!" And she started giggling.

I stopped dead in my tracks, as I had no idea what she was talking about. She gestured to my chest

Perspective is a Great Thing

The reality hit us recently that we are stuck. Hubby has 3 years left in the military, and if he doesn't make the next rank, that's the end of his military career. With 3 years left in his current rank, he lacks what they call "retainability" which means we probably won't get orders out of the desert before his career is through.

See. Stuck.

I went into panic mode. We are used to moving every 3-5 years. Hubby has been here 5 years now, the kids and I have been here for 3 years- that Moving Itch had set in.

And remember how we had orders to Japan last year, and then they were cancelled? Every single person we talked to said, "Oh, just wait. Whenever they cancel orders like that, you always get another set of orders in the next cycle. You're fine."

We waited. And waited. Like 5 cycles have passed now, and no orders. They double screwed us.

So, we're stuck. When that realization hit, I did what any crazed person who feels backed into a corner does-

I started house hunting for a place off base. If the military won't give us orders, then at least we can take it upon ourselves to change our environment to make the next 3 years exciting again.

So let's talk numbers. I'm going to throw everything out there, and before you non-military people

When the Subject of Religion Pops Up...

When I started blogging years ago, there were two topics I always swore I'd stay away from- Religion and Politics.

Pic Courtesy

I have to break my little rule today.

The Ginger came in last night from playing outside with his best friend (a kid he's been friends with for 3 years now), and he immediately trucked it to the back part of the house. He started doing his chores (on his own, without being told- Red Flag #1), and was putting things away in their places with a little too much vigor (read: slamming shit around- Red Flag #2). I quietly watched for a moment or two, to see if he'd open up about whatever was obviously bothering him, but then returned to my office because I know with The Ginger, he'd have to approach me... and he would.

A few minutes went by, and The Ginger popped into my office and asked, "Mom, are we atheists?"

Whoa. Okay. I knew something was bothering him, but that definitely came out of left field.

Of course I asked the obvious question:

"Where did you hear that word?"

The Ginger walked out of the room. He obviously didn't want to rat out his friend, but I didn't feel

The Great Coffee-to-Tea Experiment

A few weeks ago, I got a wild hair up my ass and decided to perform an experiment. (I seem to do that a lot in my life, can you tell?)

I switched my morning coffee for tea. Me? Mrs.Kids-Cats-Coffee-Tatts in my blog's slogan? Yeah, I know.

I completely understand that this has been done before. You can google it and 719,000 results come up, many of the posts are bloggers just like me. But, Inklingers, I haven't done it before, which means you all haven't been able to read my take on what happens.

It all started with an episode of the Good Witch TV show on the Hallmark Channel (hell of a reason to make a huge change in your life, right?). Cassie Nightingale was pushing her herbal "coffee" on everyone one episode, and when her next door neighbor (and eventual love interest- we all know it's coming) commented on how it actually did taste like coffee, she revealed that it was really roasted dandelion root, chicory root, and beet root.

I googled. The shit exists.

I decided to make a trip to my local herb store to see if they had the ingredients, and they actually had a blend already made, minus the beet root. They had it labeled as "Herbal Coffee," but then had a very peculiar thing written next to it- Caffeine Free.

What is this tomfoolery? Caffeine Free? I'm willing to perform the experiment of switching coffee to

Not Prepared for Parenting Older Kids... Or the Zombie Apocalypse

When you become a mom of older kids, like I am (mine are 13 and 10), and you see a mom with younger kids, I'm sure the same thing goes through all of our minds...

"Oh, thank goodness I survived that section of parenthood."

Now THAT's Being Prepared...
Pic Courtesy

No more diaper changes, no more wordless temper tantrums (now they are silent altogether, except for the sound of marching off and a bedroom door slamming), no more mandated nap times screwing up schedules, no more bottle feedings/stopping to breastfeed, nothing. Just older kids who can express their thoughts and feelings (somewhat) coherently, who you can tell to disappear if they are angering you, and who can wipe their own asses.

Bliss, right?

Yeah, not exactly.

Yesterday, we went on a field trip with the homeschooling group we are members of, to a waste water treatment facility. The tour was supposed to start at 10, but as this place was very difficult to find (everyone's GPS had us doing some crazy u-turns in subdivisions and crap) and somewhere around 50 of us total showed up, it took a while to get things rolling.

I *thought* this was the field trip that was supposed to last between an hour to an hour and a half. Come to find out (the hard way, yes), the timed one was not this particular field trip, but the one we have in 2 weeks. Not knowing this when we left the house, the kids asked if we should bring anything with us.

Why? We'll only be gone like an hour and a half max, we'll be home in time for lunch and to spend time with Hubby before he goes to work. Easy peasy lemon squeezey.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

The guy heading the tour started his presentation (what? There's a presentation with this? Just thought

I'm Not Screwing Up My Kids for Life... I Think...

Every parent worries at some point if they are screwing up their kids for life.

When you start homeschooling, that fear and worry seems to triple.

Two and a half months now, the kids and I have been trying to find our place in the homeschooling world. At this point, I feel like Goldilocks:

We started out with an online school-at-home program "porridge"- Too Strict
We moved to unschooling- Too Relaxed (according to Hubby)
We started a more relaxed daily online curriculum program- Too Easy & Boring

At this point, I've thrown the homeschool porridge against the wall and am currently pouting in the corner, wondering if there's any porridge out there that's "just right" for my kids and I.

Two months now the consistency has been rather spotty. They do math at Khan Academy everyday, we've found literature and grammar curriculum that we've stuck with, and they write posts for their blog each week, but as far as science and history are concerned, we're just bouncing around.

I'm totally screwing up my kids' lives, aren't I? Why did I start homeschooling in the first place? Why did I think I was qualified to do this?

These thoughts stay in the back of my head like poison, seeping forward every once in a while to drive me bat shit crazy.

Needless to say, I've been stressed beyond belief lately.

My readers and my friends tell me that we'll figure it out. They say homeschooling takes adjustment

Explosions and Chopping My Hair Off, All in a Day's Work

Yesterday, I lost it.

We are talking full-on, champagne bottle that had been shaken for weeks and finally exploded lost it.

So I did what any woman who fully lost it does- I went and cut all my hair off.

Yeah, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's head back to the scene of the crime beginning.

Yesterday morning started like any other morning. The kids got up, ate breakfast and then around 9-ish, they start their homeschooling. They start out with math, because, let's face it- most people hate math, so if they get it out of the way first thing in the morning, their day can only get better, right? (For the record, I love math. I have this annoying quirk where, if numbers are thrown at me in an equation-like way, I have to compute them. A simple question, standing in the grocery store, like, "Hey, is it better to get the 30 count for $5 or the 72 count for $9?" immediately makes my brain start working to figure out the problem. It gets annoying sometimes.) Both of the kids were on word problem lessons, which compounded their hate of math even more.

I usually work while the kids are on the computer, doing their lessons. So, I headed into the front room to organize my work day and figure out what orders needed to go out. I had barely even walked into the front room (25 feet from the kids), when I heard the first, "Hey, mom...".

I love my kids, I do. I love that they need my help. But I find it very hard to believe they need my help 2.5 seconds after I leave the room, when they've clearly been given directions on what they need

The Kids Now Blog, Therefore, I Blog

Lest ye be warned, internet goers. My children now have blogs.

Ye have been warned...

They aren't public (yet- we'll see how this goes), and they were created for homeschooling purposes, but nonetheless, they still have blogs.

I've been reading my ass off lately- homeschooling books, unschooling books, curriculum standards. My poor Sarah Addison Allen novel has been quite lonely, sitting untouched on my bedside table while I reach for the non-fiction books beside her. But at the moment, it's a necessary evil.

I'll run y'all through a quick timeline of recent events, which can somewhat explain why I've been MIA lately.

• Beginning of January- Hubby left for school for 6 weeks and the kids started homeschooling with k12.com.
• 2 weeks later- Kids and I were highly frustrated with the rigors of k12.com, and went to our first local homeschooling group, where I learned about unschooling. Our lives changed forever.
• Beginning of February- Withdrew the kids from k12.com and let them start the unschooling thing. 
• Middle of February- Hubby came home, having graduated with the top GPA in his class (this, from the man who slept through high school- we were shocked and thrilled beyond belief). When his structured-military-trained brain saw unschooling in action, his headache began. He

'Twas the Night Before the Night Before Christmas...

'Twas the night before the night before Christmas, and all through the house, 

The kids were playing video games, and so was Tatted Mom's spouse.

The stockings were all hung, apparently, as play things for the felines,

The presents all lacked bows, as these were also in the cats' beelines.

The children were all bouncing, due to an abundance of Christmas sweets,

And I was seriously regretting baking all those treats.

Tatted Mom lay on the couch with wine, trying to regain some sanity, 

While Hubby shot evil aliens in the video game "Destiny." 

When up on the second floor, there came a huge crash,

Hubby and I just knew something was broken, so we made a quick dash.

We arrived at our bedroom door, out of breath and panting,

To find our kids facing each other, raving and ranting.

The Girl wanted to be lazy, and watch some TV,

While The Ginger wanted to continue his mission on "Assassin's Creed 3."

The struggle for the television grew, when suddenly Mom went off like a gun,

"THAT'S IT FOR YOU TWO, I'M SERIOUSLY DONE!"

"It's almost Christmas, and here you two are fighting,

Offending Teachers, and Chocolate Pie

Apparently I offended one of The Girl's teachers today. Didn't mean to, didn't realize I would, but I did.

Chocolate Chess Pie- Yes please!!

Today I had to finish the last of the paperwork for the kids' online school registration. I figured, since they have 4 days of conventional schooling left, I'd go ahead and write a letter to each of their teachers, giving them a heads up that The Girl and The Ginger weren't returning in January.

One of The Girl's teachers was not happy at all with my letter. She told The Girl that I "was insulting the entire school program" in my letter.

Thanks for keeping your opinion about a 12 year old's mom to yourself, there, adult teacher of my child... (rolling eyes).

The damn letter was 3 sentences long. I must have perfected my skills of offending people, to get it down to 3 sentences.

Here's the letter; y'all can decide for yourselves:

This letter is to inform you that [The Girl] will not be returning to [school] in January. We have decided to homeschool her, and will be formally withdrawing her from [school] and TUSD
following the end of this semester. 

This decision took a great deal of time for us to make, but we feel that both of our children will be able to excel faster and access their full potentials in a school setting that is not part of TUSD.

Thank you,
Morgan Moss

When Hubby read it this morning, even he came back with an "Oh, damn."

So, I'm starting to wonder if I'm just such a bitch now that I don't even realize when I'm being a bitch, or if the letter really wasn't that offensive at all. I thought the letter was simple, straight forward, and was aimed at letting the teachers know that I wasn't unhappy with them, as teachers, but unhappy with TUSD (Tucson Unified School District).

Apparently, the letter was just taken as insulting to the entire school system.

Oops, my bad.

But, let's take a second to touch base on a few things here.

1. I'm southern. We don't hold much back. If I wanted to outright insult the school system, I would have. After reading over my letter, after Hubby's and the teacher's feedback, I can see how there's a little sting to it- an eloquent sting (that's what we southerners are known for), but nonetheless, a sting. She's lucky I didn't add Bless your heart instead of a Thank you at the end, but that wasn't the intent of my letter. 
2. Arizona schools are ranked #43 out of 51 (Washington, DC is counted as its own entity) in the nation. In Arizona, Tucson Unified District is ranked 228 out of 355. So, putting my letter aside, this school system is, in itself, insulting. Both of my kids are in the Gifted and Talented programs at their schools, but that only does so much, you know? The only way to fully describe what's going on in my head with this whole scenario is with an analogy... 

All the states in the US are in a pie baking competition. Apparently, New Jersey has the best pie right now, with, hell, I don't know, an amazing triple chocolate chess pie. Arizona is cooking up some liver and onion pie. Sure, it's not as horrible as the skunk meat and rotten potatoes pie that Mississippi is apparently cooking up, but it's not good either. But, of the minced meat pies, my kids' group cooked up the best liver and onion pie of all the liver and onion pies in this area. Still doesn't mean that liver and onion pie is gonna win the entire pie competition, nor does it mean the liver and onion pie is even edible some days. Will it sustain you? Sure. But overall, it stinks to high heaven. So, I'm supposed to be happy with my kids' liver and onion pie, when I know my kids are triple chocolate chess pie potential, and have access to the triple chocolate chess pie ingredients? Oh hell no. I want chocolate pie for my kids.

So, while I do feel bad I offended one of The Girl's teachers (still torn as to why I feel bad- I really shouldn't), I stand by my letter today. It may have been slightly bitchy, but it could have been much worse.

This is why I shouldn't write letters before my coffee in the morning...
Or why I should write more. The jury is still out on that one.

Found out just a few hours ago that my kids have been accepted to an online school, so our ingredients for triple chocolate chess pie are right around the corner. I can't wait!

I love chocolate pie...

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Game of War and Banana Smears

I just want to thank Kate Upton for stealing my husband from me.

Thanks to that damn commercial she did for the "Game of War" cell phone game, I haven't seen my husband's face in weeks. And all he talks about are alliances, battles and loyalty.

Pic Courtesy

I swear, he thinks this shit is real.

So this morning, the shit did get real- for him, when it comes to this game. I'll set the scene for you, before unleashing our conversation.

I had just woken Hubby up for the day, and was sitting on the bed, eating a banana beside him. He grabbed his phone, like he does the second he wakes up, and opened that damn game. I was trying to plan our day, but he was balls deep in his phone. I looked at his screen to see what he was reading that was so damn intense, and saw a long message (you can send messages in this game) with a drawing of a chick beside it.

Me: Who's the chick?
Hubby: (reading)
Me: Hello? Chick? Who is she? Chicks actually play this game?
Hubby: It's not a chick, it's a drawing of a chick.
Me: No shit, Sherlock. It's called an avatar. I might not play your nerd war game, but I know

Hell Week Post #2: The Day We Crushed The Ginger's Innocence

A few days ago, I posted the first of 3 in a series I'm calling "Hell Week", chronicling one of the craziest weeks I've ever had. Post #1, We Aren't Trying to Ruin Our Kids' Lives, I Swear was all about how last week, Hell Week, started out on Monday with Hubby and I making the biggest decision ever for our kids- the decision to homeschool them.

Now we're skedaddling on to Tuesday of last week, or the day that will forever be known as The Day We Crushed The Ginger's Innocence.

Yeah, we know why you are winking, big guy. We'll
keep your secret, until our kids are 10, apparently.

I was 10 when I asked my dad about the true existence of Santa Claus. I had done my research, presented him with evidence as we were wrapping presents one afternoon, and gave him a stern, "So, Dad, is Santa real?"

Without skipping a beat in the wrapping process, he said, "Nope. The idea of Santa is real, but as far as a fat guy with reindeer delivering presents, he's not real. We parents just keep the idea of Santa alive for kids." 

Fair enough, and props to my dad for an amazing explanation, right?

Hubby was 10 when he was told about Santa, as well. He had younger brothers, so his parents told him so he could help with the Christmas Eve shenanigans at night.

The Girl apparently figured everything out the Christmas she was 9 years old, but didn't mention it until the following Christmas, when she was 10. I guess Santa left a receipt for some Webkins laying around and she found it; forgetful Santa...

This year, The Ginger is 10. We're having to do a small Christmas, so the fact that half of our

Hell Week Post #1: We Aren't Trying to Ruin Our Kids' Lives, I Swear

I am officially labeling this week as "Hell Week," and it's only Thursday. It's been so amazingly, sweet-ass awesome (can you sense my sarcasm?), that it's going to warrant 3 posts from me.

My mantra right now...

Yes, 3 posts. I can't cram all of this week into one post. It would look a lot like a busted can of biscuits if I tried, and I don't like to make my readers' heads explode.

I will, however, give y'all a teaser of what my week has entailed, and then we'll just jump right into the first part of my week.

This week, Hell Week, started off with Hubby and I making one of the largest decisions we could possibly make for our kids- The Girl is still barely speaking to us because of it. Mid-week, we crushed The Ginger's innocence forever, and just after that, I contracted what can only be a precursor to the Zombie Virus. That's my Hell Week thus far, and please knock on some wood for me that the remainder of the week does NOT warrant a fourth post in this series.

So now that you have an overview of this week for me, let's just head right into one of the biggest decisions I've ever made as a parent, shall we?

Monday morning, as the kids were getting ready for school, The Ginger opened up his homework folder (keep in mind that last week was Thanksgiving, so the kids have been out of school since the Wednesday before this), and threw his head back. Tears started filling his eyes.

The Ginger: Mom, can I PLEASE stay home from school today?
Me: Nope. But why do you ask?
The Ginger: Because my state report is due today and I forgot all about it. I didn't work on it at all this weekend.
Me: Nope, sorry. You didn't do your homework, so you need to fully understand the consequences to

Cheese Farts, and Other Birthday Happenings for The Ginger

10 years ago today, The Ginger was born. He surprised us back then (we were told, based on 2 ultrasounds, that he was a she), and surprises me every single day since then.

You can read all about his birth here. I promise you, it's a doozie of a birth story.

But today I want to talk about this birthday, his 10th birthday.

He came to me 4 days ago with a list.

Me: What's this?
The Ginger: The list of kids I want to invite to my birthday party.
Me: Honey... it's too late for a party. We talked about this 2 weeks ago...

The look of devastation on his face almost killed me. He crumpled up the paper, threw it into the trash, and ran off to his room.

I let him vent for a few minutes and then called him back downstairs.

Me: Honey, do you remember when you got home from your friend's birthday party 2 weeks ago and you said you wanted a party?
The Ginger: Yeah.
Me: Do you remember what I told you?
The Ginger: No.
Me: I told you then, that if you really wanted a party, we needed to spend the next day making your invitations, because they needed to go to school with you that Monday. You have to give people at least a week to RSVP, and the RSVP should be about a week before the party so we

A Work-at-Home Mom's Ultimate Fantasy

Today, I'm absolutely knackered (and maybe have been watching too much of the British TV show "Call the Midwife"). I'm on the verge of throwing myself a small Pity Party, complete with Cheese and Whine and I-Scream.

Sorry, just my witty sense of humor...

This is a pretty rare occurrence, so I think you should join me.

I find myself fantasizing every day now, caught in a particular daydream at different points throughout my packed schedule; a daydream that is so amazing that I never want to come back to reality.

Ryan Gosling? Nope, not this time.

This fantasy involves my family- sometimes the kids, sometimes Hubby, sometimes the whole gang, looking right at me, holding out a hand, concern in their eyes, and saying, "Mom/Honey, what can I do to help you with everything?"

OMG, the bliss. I get all excited just thinking about it, then I'm plummeted back into reality and continue dusting, or vacuuming, or folding clothes.

I completely understood what I was getting myself into when Hubby and I got back together 3 years

Surging My Kids into My Past

I ordered a 12 pack of Surge last week.

Yes, the heart-attack-inducing, tastes-how-I-envision-ghosts'-ectoplasm-tasting, colored-like-something-from-a-nuclear-waste-site Surge.

Shipping details say it will be here today.

I'm like a kid on Christmas Eve right now.

As a parent, will I be sharing Surge with my kids, aged 12 and almost 10?

You bet your sweet ass I am.

I'm the Mom who forces the 80s and 90s on my kids. They've seen "The Goonies," (The Ginger liked it more than The Girl), "The Princess Bride" (didn't like it), "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" (liked that one), the TV show "All That" (they loved it), "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" (The Girl adores that show), and countless other fave movies and shows from my childhood ("Camp Nowhere" and "Newsies" are next, and I was totally bummed to find seasons 1 and 2 of "Blossom" available, but due to legal rights of songs in the show, no more seasons of "Blossom" will ever be released on DVD. Super saddening...).

I'm not quite sure why I introduce so many things from my childhood to my kids. I've talked with other moms; I seem to be the biggest 80s/90s Dealer of them all, offering my kids episodes of "Saved By the Bell" like they are crack. ("Here, just try one episode, please... We don't have to watch any more if you don't like this one, just give it a try.") Most moms I know just let their kids watch what

Our CarnEvil Garage Walk-through for Trick-or-Treaters

I've spent months talking about getting ready for Halloween, and pulling together our CarnEvil walk-through for the trick-or-treaters. Now that Halloween is done and over with for the year, and our CarnEvil went off without a hitch, I can finally share the pictures and video with you all, dear Inklingers.

Ringmaster and Creepy Clown
(Hubby and I)

It was AMAZING!!! We scared some kids, some parents, and even ourselves at some points. But, I felt the walk-through was a pretty even mixture of scary and cheesy, so much so that we had very brave 3 year olds go through, by themselves, and stare Hubby in the face when he (dressed as a creepy clown) popped out to scare them. (I got to watch a staring contest go down between Hubby and a Ninja Turtle who was 1/4 Hubby's size. It was epic.)
And, we had kids running and screaming for their lives. Pretty epic, too.
Hubby got high fives from dads holding screaming children, and my friend (the Bearded Lady) was getting compliments as she handed out candy to the kids who didn't want to attempt the walk-through. Overall, I don't think we had one negative thing said, and we got thanked about a thousand times, which yes, brought tears to my over-emotional face.
So now y'all get to see the behind-the-scenes look at some of the crafts, the diagram layout, and the video at the end has not only the walk-through (video quality kind of sucks, but it was dark), but more photos of the actual set-up inside. 
Overall, with crafts, costumes, plastic drapes and props from Spirit Halloween, I want to say we