Perspective is a Great Thing

The reality hit us recently that we are stuck. Hubby has 3 years left in the military, and if he doesn't make the next rank, that's the end of his military career. With 3 years left in his current rank, he lacks what they call "retainability" which means we probably won't get orders out of the desert before his career is through.

See. Stuck.

I went into panic mode. We are used to moving every 3-5 years. Hubby has been here 5 years now, the kids and I have been here for 3 years- that Moving Itch had set in.

And remember how we had orders to Japan last year, and then they were cancelled? Every single person we talked to said, "Oh, just wait. Whenever they cancel orders like that, you always get another set of orders in the next cycle. You're fine."

We waited. And waited. Like 5 cycles have passed now, and no orders. They double screwed us.

So, we're stuck. When that realization hit, I did what any crazed person who feels backed into a corner does-

I started house hunting for a place off base. If the military won't give us orders, then at least we can take it upon ourselves to change our environment to make the next 3 years exciting again.

So let's talk numbers. I'm going to throw everything out there, and before you non-military people

When the Subject of Religion Pops Up...

When I started blogging years ago, there were two topics I always swore I'd stay away from- Religion and Politics.

Pic Courtesy

I have to break my little rule today.

The Ginger came in last night from playing outside with his best friend (a kid he's been friends with for 3 years now), and he immediately trucked it to the back part of the house. He started doing his chores (on his own, without being told- Red Flag #1), and was putting things away in their places with a little too much vigor (read: slamming shit around- Red Flag #2). I quietly watched for a moment or two, to see if he'd open up about whatever was obviously bothering him, but then returned to my office because I know with The Ginger, he'd have to approach me... and he would.

A few minutes went by, and The Ginger popped into my office and asked, "Mom, are we atheists?"

Whoa. Okay. I knew something was bothering him, but that definitely came out of left field.

Of course I asked the obvious question:

"Where did you hear that word?"

The Ginger walked out of the room. He obviously didn't want to rat out his friend, but I didn't feel

5 Ways to Develop Your Psychic Mom Abilities

"Have you been playing in my office?"

The Ginger stared at me blankly. Slowly, he shook his head.

"Really? You haven't been playing in my office? At my desk, maybe?"

He took a huge swallow. Slowly shook his head again.

"Are you lying to me right now?"

At that moment, he broke. "Yes, Mom, I was in your office. I was just spinning around in the office chair. I didn't touch anything, I promise! How did you know? I did it when you were in the shower."

"Because I'm psychic. All moms are psychic. We know what our kids are doing at ALL times. Got it?"

The Ginger, eyes wide, hung his head and nodded that he understood. Then he ran off to his room.

This is probably one of my favorite parts of being a mom. How did I know The Ginger had been in my office, downstairs, in the front part of my house, when I was upstairs, taking a shower, in the back part of my house? Am I truly psychic?

That time I dreamed the Pick 3 winning lottery numbers would prove yes. And yes, I played them, but they came up in a different order than what I played, and I had played 'Exact Order' like a dumbass. The clerk at the gas station, however, when I told him my story of how I dreamed the numbers, played them 'Any Order' and won $500 bucks off me. Asshat.

Anyway, no, I'm not psychic. The seat height on my office chair is adjustable, so when I sat down on it, and was about 4 inches too high for my desk, I knew the spinning-chair-loving Ginger had been having quite a fun time while I was otherwise occupied.

Am I ever going to tell The Ginger my secret? Hell no. Kids thinking their moms are psychic has

Can We Really Talk About Homeschooling?

(Note: This post was written as a rebuttal for an anti-homeschooling post that went up on a pretty popular mom blog submission site earlier this week. The original post was pulled from the website roughly 24 hours after it was put up. I sent in my rebuttal anyway, as they asked for one before pulling the piece, and received an email today from one of the editors saying the author of the post had been verbally threatened, so they pulled it for her safety. The original post was very belittling to the homeschool community, as the author did actually call anyone without an education degree who homeschooled their child an "idiot," but I find it disheartening that she was verbally threatened for sharing her opinion. We're all adults here, and as I understand not everyone would agree with her opinion or mine, verbally threatening someone who shares an different opinion than you is just idiotic.

So here, on my site, let's just all get along, please. Hold hands and sing kumbaya and shit, even if we don't see eye to eye. I felt my piece should be read anyway, as I took the time to put my heart and soul into it, so here it is. ~Morgan, aka Tatted Mom)

In January, I decided to homeschool my kids.

Why are you laughing? Kinda trying to be serious over here. I really did. No, seriously.

No, I didn’t bump my head. No, I’m not on drugs. And no, I don’t have a degree in education.

The public school system, as my family knew it, was failing my kids. We live in Arizona, which is currently ranked #43 out of 51 in the nation. Then, we live in Tucson, which is rated #228 out of 355. Statistically speaking, we’re at the bottom of the bottom here, and despite the valiant efforts of my kids’ teachers, it showed.

Instead of the “old method” of simply multiplying one number by another, my 4^th grader was bringing home some core curriculum BS of what looked like follow-the-bouncy-ball on a number line. I wasn’t sure if we were supposed to multiply it, or sing along. And he couldn’t figure it out, either. Note after note went to his teacher from me, stating, “He did the homework, I just taught him the simple way to multiply, because neither one of us could figure out what the paper was trying to teach him.” She was very understanding, unlike my daughter’s 7^th grade math teacher, who just constantly marked her work wrong because she wasn’t doing the 27 step core-curriculum-taught method, but instead was doing the 5 step method that has worked for me for 21 years now.

So, core curriculum- strike one against the public school system for my family.

My kids spent half of this school year in public schools, and when we kept getting notices in

The Great Coffee-to-Tea Experiment

A few weeks ago, I got a wild hair up my ass and decided to perform an experiment. (I seem to do that a lot in my life, can you tell?)

I switched my morning coffee for tea. Me? Mrs.Kids-Cats-Coffee-Tatts in my blog's slogan? Yeah, I know.

I completely understand that this has been done before. You can google it and 719,000 results come up, many of the posts are bloggers just like me. But, Inklingers, I haven't done it before, which means you all haven't been able to read my take on what happens.

It all started with an episode of the Good Witch TV show on the Hallmark Channel (hell of a reason to make a huge change in your life, right?). Cassie Nightingale was pushing her herbal "coffee" on everyone one episode, and when her next door neighbor (and eventual love interest- we all know it's coming) commented on how it actually did taste like coffee, she revealed that it was really roasted dandelion root, chicory root, and beet root.

I googled. The shit exists.

I decided to make a trip to my local herb store to see if they had the ingredients, and they actually had a blend already made, minus the beet root. They had it labeled as "Herbal Coffee," but then had a very peculiar thing written next to it- Caffeine Free.

What is this tomfoolery? Caffeine Free? I'm willing to perform the experiment of switching coffee to

The Evolution of a Super Mom

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I'm Done Being a Military Wife

I think I'm done being a Military Wife.

Oh, no, Hubby and I are fine- I'm not that type of done. I'm still the proud wife of a military member (and trolls, spare me the "there's no such thing as a military wife" bullshit- I got enough from y'all on my Dependa youtube video; apparently humor is lost on trolls...), but I'm getting so done with how military wives treat each other, that I'd like to withdraw my connection to most of them, please.

Is there a form to fill out? Can I go to Family Support for that?

This morning I woke... early... insomnia is still majorly screwing with me with Hubby not here right now.... so I grabbed my phone and started checking my facebook updates and whatnot. My news feed was filled with pictures, articles, questions asked to various groups I'm in, and then a post from a deployed military member to the base yard sale group, suggesting that maybe extreme couponers could take their stockpile extras and donate them to care packages for deployed military instead of selling them on the yard sale site.

Amen, military chica. Amen.

I'm an extreme couponer myself (need to get back into it, actually, as I've strayed in the last few months), and it makes my eye twitch to see people sell their stockpile items. I understand it might be a way for a military spouse to make some extra money, but they clear the shelves in the grocery store just to sell the items, and when I get to the store to get my items my family will use, there aren't any left. Plus, I'm really proud of my stockpile; we may never use 127 cans of shaving cream, but dammit, I acquired them for free. If I ever needed to get rid of them, I'd just donate. I have sold stockpile items in the past, when I first started couponing years ago, and I felt dirty about it. So, I never did it again.

Anyway, I digress- back to the post. Most of the comments supported the original poster. Of course, you have to have your troll- and the military lists are FULL of them.

Never mind what her negative comment was, the point is she made it. On military wives lists, or yard sale lists, or mom lists, or school lists, or whatever, there's always someone who makes that comment- usually you'll find quite a few of these people. I understand there are trolls everywhere, but there seems to be an unusually large number of them on military-related lists and groups.

I haven't quite figured it out, and I'm not sure if I ever will. Of course, I have many different hypotheses:

1. Military bases have a high concentration of people from all walks of life in a small area. Statistically speaking, there's

Today, at 34...

Today, I am 34.

Birthdays have a crazy way of making you think WAY too much. You think about where you've been, and what you've accomplished, and you think about where you are going and what you've yet to do.

A birthday post wouldn't be complete
without Ryan Gosling... le sigh...

You think about the million things you've done wrong, and the few things you've actually done right.

Birthdays are just crazy like that.

I talked to my Mom yesterday, who called to give me my birthday present early, and just check up on me since I've fallen off the face of the earth this year (this is my first blog post of 2015, and it's January 20th- homeschooling and my store are kicking my ass this year so far, but in good ways). She informed me that when she was 34, my sister was only 1 year old.

Nope. Not me. I see people my age with little kids, or pregnant, and I'm personally extremely happy that I pulled off the bandaid in my early 20s. Now, with my kids at 12 and 10, I can have decently mature conversations with them... if you call debating whether it'd be worse to have your nose above your butt or toes for fingers "mature conversation." (I'd totally go with toes for fingers, by the way.) I couldn't imagine changing diapers, or potty training, or not having any idea why my kid was screaming their head off because they didn't actually speak words I could understand, at my age. I applaud people who are my age, or older, with small kids, because it's something I just wouldn't want to do at this stage of my life. I applaud you, but I'll totally have you in the back of my mind while I'm sleeping in on the weekends, or watching a creepy PG-13 movie with my kiddos instead of "Frozen" for the umpteenth zillion time.

So, my birthday has made me think about what life would be like if I did have smaller kids. And y'all think I'm crazy now...

I've thought about where I've been, and how that road has led me to my life today.

Today, at 34, I've survived a three-year separation from my husband and an almost-divorce, moved about a dozen times

Offending Teachers, and Chocolate Pie

Apparently I offended one of The Girl's teachers today. Didn't mean to, didn't realize I would, but I did.

Chocolate Chess Pie- Yes please!!

Today I had to finish the last of the paperwork for the kids' online school registration. I figured, since they have 4 days of conventional schooling left, I'd go ahead and write a letter to each of their teachers, giving them a heads up that The Girl and The Ginger weren't returning in January.

One of The Girl's teachers was not happy at all with my letter. She told The Girl that I "was insulting the entire school program" in my letter.

Thanks for keeping your opinion about a 12 year old's mom to yourself, there, adult teacher of my child... (rolling eyes).

The damn letter was 3 sentences long. I must have perfected my skills of offending people, to get it down to 3 sentences.

Here's the letter; y'all can decide for yourselves:

This letter is to inform you that [The Girl] will not be returning to [school] in January. We have decided to homeschool her, and will be formally withdrawing her from [school] and TUSD
following the end of this semester. 

This decision took a great deal of time for us to make, but we feel that both of our children will be able to excel faster and access their full potentials in a school setting that is not part of TUSD.

Thank you,
Morgan Moss

When Hubby read it this morning, even he came back with an "Oh, damn."

So, I'm starting to wonder if I'm just such a bitch now that I don't even realize when I'm being a bitch, or if the letter really wasn't that offensive at all. I thought the letter was simple, straight forward, and was aimed at letting the teachers know that I wasn't unhappy with them, as teachers, but unhappy with TUSD (Tucson Unified School District).

Apparently, the letter was just taken as insulting to the entire school system.

Oops, my bad.

But, let's take a second to touch base on a few things here.

1. I'm southern. We don't hold much back. If I wanted to outright insult the school system, I would have. After reading over my letter, after Hubby's and the teacher's feedback, I can see how there's a little sting to it- an eloquent sting (that's what we southerners are known for), but nonetheless, a sting. She's lucky I didn't add Bless your heart instead of a Thank you at the end, but that wasn't the intent of my letter. 
2. Arizona schools are ranked #43 out of 51 (Washington, DC is counted as its own entity) in the nation. In Arizona, Tucson Unified District is ranked 228 out of 355. So, putting my letter aside, this school system is, in itself, insulting. Both of my kids are in the Gifted and Talented programs at their schools, but that only does so much, you know? The only way to fully describe what's going on in my head with this whole scenario is with an analogy... 

All the states in the US are in a pie baking competition. Apparently, New Jersey has the best pie right now, with, hell, I don't know, an amazing triple chocolate chess pie. Arizona is cooking up some liver and onion pie. Sure, it's not as horrible as the skunk meat and rotten potatoes pie that Mississippi is apparently cooking up, but it's not good either. But, of the minced meat pies, my kids' group cooked up the best liver and onion pie of all the liver and onion pies in this area. Still doesn't mean that liver and onion pie is gonna win the entire pie competition, nor does it mean the liver and onion pie is even edible some days. Will it sustain you? Sure. But overall, it stinks to high heaven. So, I'm supposed to be happy with my kids' liver and onion pie, when I know my kids are triple chocolate chess pie potential, and have access to the triple chocolate chess pie ingredients? Oh hell no. I want chocolate pie for my kids.

So, while I do feel bad I offended one of The Girl's teachers (still torn as to why I feel bad- I really shouldn't), I stand by my letter today. It may have been slightly bitchy, but it could have been much worse.

This is why I shouldn't write letters before my coffee in the morning...
Or why I should write more. The jury is still out on that one.

Found out just a few hours ago that my kids have been accepted to an online school, so our ingredients for triple chocolate chess pie are right around the corner. I can't wait!

I love chocolate pie...

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Hell Week Post #1: We Aren't Trying to Ruin Our Kids' Lives, I Swear

I am officially labeling this week as "Hell Week," and it's only Thursday. It's been so amazingly, sweet-ass awesome (can you sense my sarcasm?), that it's going to warrant 3 posts from me.

My mantra right now...

Yes, 3 posts. I can't cram all of this week into one post. It would look a lot like a busted can of biscuits if I tried, and I don't like to make my readers' heads explode.

I will, however, give y'all a teaser of what my week has entailed, and then we'll just jump right into the first part of my week.

This week, Hell Week, started off with Hubby and I making one of the largest decisions we could possibly make for our kids- The Girl is still barely speaking to us because of it. Mid-week, we crushed The Ginger's innocence forever, and just after that, I contracted what can only be a precursor to the Zombie Virus. That's my Hell Week thus far, and please knock on some wood for me that the remainder of the week does NOT warrant a fourth post in this series.

So now that you have an overview of this week for me, let's just head right into one of the biggest decisions I've ever made as a parent, shall we?

Monday morning, as the kids were getting ready for school, The Ginger opened up his homework folder (keep in mind that last week was Thanksgiving, so the kids have been out of school since the Wednesday before this), and threw his head back. Tears started filling his eyes.

The Ginger: Mom, can I PLEASE stay home from school today?
Me: Nope. But why do you ask?
The Ginger: Because my state report is due today and I forgot all about it. I didn't work on it at all this weekend.
Me: Nope, sorry. You didn't do your homework, so you need to fully understand the consequences to

Friday Frenzy: I Have the Perfect Body!

(Today's Friday Frenzy post come from Mari over at Living in Mommywood. Her bold attitude and similar view on life had me loving her from the moment I hit her blog. She writes about motherhood, womanhood, society, and her philosophy on life: Live, Love, Laugh. I seriously adore this woman, so please check her out!! ~Tatted Mom)


I Have the Perfect Body

Wow now that's a bold title!

Really, is it?

Heck no!

In my eyes, in my mirror...I have the perfect body.

I feel comfortable in my own skin.

I eat right, I use moderation in my choices and don't deprive myself of any treats. I don't beat myself up if I have pizza, and I pat myself on the back when I pass on that piece of cake.

I workout several times a week, but you will never find me in a gym. That is not the setting for me. I practice Yoga, and walk in the park, and go up and down stairs when I can. I also opt for walking and leave my car when I am in the mood.

I take care of my skin and all around hygiene. I don't mistreat my face with products that promise

Friday Frenzy: The Day Things Got Hairy at Disney World

(For today's Friday Frenzy, I'd like to welcome Michelle from Old Dog New Tits. Her blog is a refreshing look at all the dumbassery of life, and her voice is absolutely hilarious. Today's post had me cringing for her, it's so epic. Definitely check out her blog, and stalk her on social media- links are below! ~Tatted Mom)


The Day Things Got Hairy at Disney World

My family was on its first trip to Disney World. It was the four of us (son, 5 and daughter, 2) as well as my parents. My kids had a blast and wanted to ride everything they could but their age differential enabled my boy to take on a lot more of the rides than his sister. And he was still too young to know to fear the scary rides.

Enter that stupid Mission: Space ride at EPCOT.

I hate you, Mission: Space.

Now, first of all, I know what you’re thinking. “Mission: Space??? Michele, are you nuts? He was only five. I can’t believe you brought him on that terrifying shock to the nervous system.” To which I can only say, yes. Well, sort of yes. Disclaimer – the tragic story involving that ride happened just six weeks after we were there. Truly, no one realized how intense this ride really was at this point. But I digress …

So, because my daughter was clearly too young for this ride, Dave opted to sit it out with her. And my parents hung back with them. My boy was all excited about the space ride so what’s a mom to do?

Right? Of course, right.

It was one of the newer rides at the park so it comes with the tedious experience of waiting in a Disney line that weaved through a maze of snotty ropes, germy handrails and darkened corridors intended to get us all in a space-y mood by the time we reached the core. After nearly an hour had passed, we got to the end of the line and waited in a small holding room with maybe 25-ish people to get into our respective “pods.” (Can’t you just feel the nerd?) And we waited and waited. And waited. Something was clearly wrong. There was a loud beep and everyone got quiet in anticipation of a voice coming over the PA to tell us what to do.

We’re all familiar with the expression “you could have heard a pin drop,” right? Well, that’s exactly how it was when my sweet little son, back then always armed with a million questions, turned to me in the deafening silence and said “Mommy” … and then he paused … ’cause clearly there was gonna be more.

I turned to my boy and said “What?” … expecting any number of predictable, mundane statements

Friday Frenzy: Action/Reaction

(I'm very happy to welcome Meredith from The Mom of the Year here today for Friday Frenzy. Her blog is a little bit of everything, with a whole lot of laughs, and her unique writing voice has been featured in many popular parenting humor anthology books. A huge thanks to Meredith for participating in Friday Frenzy, and y'all should definitely check out her site! ~Tatted Mom)


Action/Reaction

It was happening.
Pic Courtesy

So there I was. Feeling completely Mom of the Year-ish after successfully moving my son from 3T into 4T clothing. All you non-kid people just skimmed over this sentence without blinking. The rest of you understand why I was fully expecting the equivalent of the Publisher’s Clearing House Prize truck to pull up in my driveway. Some weak soul who just scaled Everest would limp out to hand me a shiny metallic urn-like award and tell me that I had just achieved the greatest accomplishment known to mankind. Switching these kiddos up to the next size is no joke, people. Move aside screaming newborns, this is birth control.

Feeling extraordinarily proud of myself, I snatched up a jacket I had thrown by the closet to put away. I was going to hang it up, close the door, and wash my hands of another season of sorting little outfits. My daughter, however, had other notions. She saw me open the closet door and ran screaming towards her brother’s raincoat (her new garment of choice). She also demanded I get down her backpack and the toy I stashed on the top shelf (because it just has too many tiny pieces and annoys me). I successfully got the jacket hung, but was left with 3x as many other objects now littering my hallway.

It’s the scientific, or Newton’s, or whatever-you-want-to-call-its law: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

For instance, I will somehow magically score a night-out with my husband (remember that guy who is pretty hot and I used to date?), but footing the bill for the sitter will make me sick, and staying up

Generation Z is For...

Apparently, I'm getting old. Each day, I see or hear something from a member of my kids' generation (yes, sometimes from my kids themselves) that makes me think,

"What is WRONG with the kids of today? That did NOT happen when I was a kid."

Take this past weekend, for example. Hubby and I went to a Godsmack, Seether, and Buck Cherry concert.

I will pause for a second to say, Holy crap, what an AWESOME concert!! 

Now, back to my story. The crowd was filled with people from the age of 3 (yes, you read that right- there were quite a few people who brought their toddlers to the concert, a few of which put their toddlers on their shoulders to make it to the front of the crowd, near the stage- I haven't figured out if that's awesome parenting, or horrible parenting yet...) up through probably 60-something. The largest age group was probably 20-somethings, or early to mid 30-somethings like Hubby and I.

But it was the teenage group that made me want to bang my head against the wall the most.

Pic Courtesy

The first thing I noticed, about 5 minutes after walking into the stadium, was a group of children- yes, CHILDREN- who couldn't have possibly been more than 15 or 16 years old, wearing bras and a simple bandanas tied around their chests as "shirts."

I actually paused in front of them to ask where their mothers were, when Hubby grabbed my shirt and led me down the stairs.

There's no reason in hell- actually, there's 50,000 reasons in Hell, no reasons here on Earth- these MINORS should have left the house dressed like that. And, if they left the house dressed like a proper 15 year old CHILD, and then changed into that, they need to be grounded until they are 18.

Back in my day, it was a short skirt and maybe a midriff top or low-cut shirt that we rebellious teenagers changed into after we left the house- NOT A HANDKERCHIEF.

I wanted to take a picture so badly for you all, but I didn't want my site to be flagged for child porn. Seriously. It was that bad.

And it doesn't really get better, sorry to say.

There were girls walking around in just bras and shorts. Bathing suit tops, I understand. Not bras. Thankfully, though, those girls looked like college students... doesn't make it "better" per say, but it

Creating a Magical Life Part 1: Be Yourself

A few months ago I really started thinking about sharing my life philosophy with people. I tend to look at the world in a unique way, which helps me live a happy, minimally-stressed, productive life.

A Magical Life.

It's definitely something I wanted to share with others, to try and help them start creating, and living, their own magical lives.

This is a web series, 5 parts in all, and this first video covers my introduction, why I wanted to do this web series, and my first personal life philosophy: Be Yourself.

I hope you all enjoy it, and be sure to like it and subscribe so you get the next video in the series delivered right to your inbox when I publish it!

Have an amazing, magical day!! ;)





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7 "Rules" My Children Have Created to Live By

My kids never cease to amaze me. Some days, it's in awesome ways.

And some days, I wonder if they left their brains in bed when they woke up that morning.

I've been making a running list of things that seem to occur numerous times in my household; things I believe my children are slowly converting into personal truths or facts for themselves. That's the only reason I can think of that they repeatedly perform these acts- they are now gospel to them.

And I just shake my head. There's nothing else that can really be done at this point.


7 "Rules" My Children Have Created to Live By

1. The best time to ask Mom for something is when she's exhausted and just fell asleep on the couch. Yep, that's when she'll just answer Yes to anything, just to get us kids to go away. Whether it's asking for a bowl of ice cream 30 minutes before dinner, asking to bring the entire neighborhood into the house to play upstairs, or asking to go fly a helicopter, if you ask within the first 2.5 minutes after Mom falls asleep, you'll get what you want.

2. The bathroom floor is the only place dirty clothes should be. That basket-thingie Mom put in my room that she says is a hamper? That's a wicked cool basketball hoop to throw my stuffed animals in... or random books... toys... definitely not clothes. Oh, I can flip it upside down and sit on it, too, while I play video games. Where are my dirty clothes, you ask? Those are on the bathroom floor, where I took them off when I took a shower last night (and the night before, and the night before that). Duh...

3. "Clean the kitchen after dinner" means unload and load the dishwasher, and nothing else. Never mind the ketchup, butter, pitcher of iced tea and dirty napkins still out. Those aren't included in "cleaning the kitchen." Neither is wiping down the counter tops, picking up that pork chop bone that

Figuring Out My Family Just Might Be Smarter Than Me

So, this bizarre conversation happened this morning between The Girl and I:

The Girl: So, Mom, what are your plans for today?
Me: Well, I'm going to drop y'all off at school, head to Fry's, do some grocery shopping, then come home, fill orders and probably make the pendulum cards and some pendulums for my store. 
The Girl: Making pendulum cards and pendulums is work, Mom.
Me: Yeah, that's what I do during the day... I work. 
The Girl: Yeah, but you work too much. You should totally lay around and play The Sims today.

Yep, the look on my face...

Me: (with a very confused look on my face) Why should I lay around and play The Sims today?
The Girl: Because you work every day, even on the weekends. You deserve a break.
Me: (starting to get very alarmed) So, you are suggesting I lay around and do nothing today because I deserve a break?????????
The Girl: (casually eating her breakfast) Yeah. You work too much. Just play today.
Me: Do you need me to play the game for you for some selfish reason... like... to get your player ahead or something?
The Girl: (laughing- which scared me even more) No, Mom. I'm playing Sims University. You're going to play Sims Supernatural, right?
Me: Uhhh... yeah.
The Girl: Yeah, I've already played that.
Me: Then why are you saying I deserve a break? I'm so confused right now as to what your motive is, or why you are suddenly saying I work too much...
The Girl: (looks up and sees the pure dread on my face) No motive. It's because you really do work too much, Mom. Sheesh. You just seriously deserve a break. Between the book, the blog,the house and your store, you just deserve some time to do nothing and play a game you enjoy.

I'm pretty sure I haven't been that scared in all my years as a mother. I'm still contemplating finding some shelter, because I'm sure the sky will start falling any second now.

Why was this conversation so bizarre, you ask?

First, I will enter into evidence Exhibit A, which is a blog post I wrote about how no one in my

10 Activities We Didn't Do This Summer (And 7 We Did)

When the school year ends, and summer approaches, 5,489 different websites post articles like 10 Activities to Prevent the Summer Slide or 307 Summer Activities to Prevent Boredom. 

First off, I think boredom is the key to a good childhood. Kids shouldn't always be entertained. Boredom builds imagination, helps them think outside the box, and helps them learn how to occupy themselves.

Anyway, we moms all do the same thing- we scour pinterest and these websites for that perfect list, print it out, put it on the fridge, and...

End up doing like 2 things on the list all summer. Then we feel like failures as moms that we didn't complete the list of summer activities that some stranger told us we should complete.

I'm here to say...

Screw it!! You are NOT a bad mom for not completing your summer list. You are NOT a bad mom for not entertaining your kids every second of the summer. You are NOT a bad mom for letting your kids relax all summer.

My post today is my list of activities that we didn't do this summer; things those other websites inadvertently make me feel bad for not doing. That I'm a failure as a mom because I didn't complete our list shit ends here, today. I did pull these off of actual lists I googled, too.

I also threw in some things we actually did do this summer, to show y'all what a typical summer for my kids is like. It's not glitz and glamour, I'll tell you that!


10 Activities We Didn't Do This Summer:

1. Learn a foreign language. We downloaded Japanese apps to our phones when Hubby got his orders, but the only things we can seem to grasp are Hello-Konnichiwa, Goodbye- Sayonara, Yes-Hai and Thank You- Arigato (Mr. Roboto).

2. Read 1,800 minutes. To prevent the summer slide, experts advise having kids read 20-30 minutes a day. Over a 2 month summer break, that equates to about 1,800 minutes per kid. I'm 99.9% sure my kids

WTF Wednesday: Yin/Yang Relationship at Its Finest

We are 21 days post Japan orders notification, and I'm quickly realizing 2 things:

1. The military seriously makes you work for an overseas assignment.
2. My husband has zero sense of humor during this entire process.

He printed out the checklist of things he has to do before he can actually get the paper copy of his orders, and it's a mile long. There are also starting dates on his checklist that date back to May 27, 2014.

Yeah, ummmm.... we weren't even notified we had orders until July 2nd, 2014. So, thanks for letting us know we should have started paperwork 6 weeks before we even knew we had paperwork to start (rolling eyes). 

Pic Courtesy

So, needless to say, we're having to do everything in double time, and for anyone who is a part of the military, you know the military does NOT work in double time.

Through all of this, I've been able to remain calm and collected, which is completely balanced out by my husband, who is freaking the hell out at every step. 

A few examples of Hubby's and my Yin/Yang thing we have going on:

• Last week, we were outside at midnight, watching an amazing thunderstorm rolling in. I was calm, with my arms out, just soaking in all that is an awesome thunderstorm. Hubby is chain smoking, going over what he has to do the next day, and looks at me and says, "Do you not even care that we have orders?" WTF? Of course I care. "Then why does it seem like you are so nonchalant about it?" Well, dear Hubby, there's nothing I can do at midnight about our move. So, I choose to live in the moment, basking in the upcoming thunderstorm, breathing, and putting the move aside until 8am the

A Virtual Book Tour For Me? How Awesome!

Alrighty, Inklingers, I have a virtual book tour coming up and I want you too come with me!!

What in the world is a virtual book tour? So glad you asked!!

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I will be featured on several websites, with spotlights, interviews and guest posts that you haven't seen here on my blog. The tour schedule is below, and if it says 'Spotlight', that's an excerpt from my book and a little about me. 'Guest Blogging' means I've written one of my spunky articles for that website, and is new material for you all to read. 'Interviewed' means they asked me some great questions, many things you didn't know about me before this book tour. 

So, each day, and each website, has some great Tatted Mom stuff. 

I'm excited.

They will also be running a giveaway for a free signed copy of my book, so be sure to enter that!

AND (as if it couldn't get any better), I've discounted the price of my book for the virtual book tour to just $9.99 for paperback and only $2.99 for the Kindle download!!! If you don't have a copy of my book, this is definitely the time to pick one up!!

I had a lot of fun writing for and being interviewed by these amazing websites, so please take some time each