Guy Stuff That I Wouldn't Know About

Hubby, The Ginger and I were on our way home from taking Ariya to get her rabies shot, and the subject of

when I was a tattoo apprentice somehow came up.

The Ginger: Mom, what's an apprentice?

Me: It's a person who is learning a job or career from someone else. Like, I was learning how to tattoo from Mike, so I was his apprentice.

The Ginger: Oh, okay. Like Starkiller is Darth Vader's apprentice?

Me: ...........................

Hubby: Yep, just like that.

The Ginger: Yeah, Mom, that's guy stuff. You wouldn't know about that.


Touche, Ginger, touche.

If you enjoy Inklings, please take a second to just click the banner below. Each click = 1 vote, and you can vote once per 24 hours. I do happy dances when people vote!

Or, On Second Thought...

Almost 14 years I have been married to Hubby. We've been together for 16. After this long, there are some

days that I have to continuously repeat to myself,"You love this man. Your life sucked without him. You love this man. You can not go to prison for murder."

This morning's conversation was a prime example of the above.

Me: Honey, I'm tired of my clothes not fitting. It's time for me to get back to MILF status. I don't want to be this frumpy housewife anymore.
Hubby: So do it.
Me: I will, thank you. (I turned around to see Hubby playing a game on his phone.) You don't care one way or another, do you?
Hubby: Not really.
Me: That's true. You'll bang me no matter what, huh?
Hubby: Sure.
Me: Holy crap, you aren't even paying attention, are you?
Hubby: Yes. MILF status. Bang you.
Me: Ok, good. The Girl is going to be at that age in a few years where she has boys over, and I want them to look at The Girl and say, "Hey, your mom is hot," not because it would mean anything, but just to know that I'm a hot mom, you know?
Hubby: Or, on second thought, you could take one for the team and make my life easier in the long run.
Me (confused look on my face): What do you mean?
Hubby: Well, if a guy wants to know what a girl is going to look like in 20 years, he just looks at her mom. So, if you are all hot and a MILF, then we'll have guys lining up at the door to date The Girl. If you go ahead and get really fat and gross looking, then no one will want to date her, saving me a lot of time and effort scaring them away.
Me: Umm.... no. 

I love this man. My life sucked without him. I love this man. I can not go to prison for murder.

If you enjoy Inklings, please take a second to just click the banner below. Each click = 1 vote, and you can vote once per 24 hours. I do happy dances when people vote!

3 Years and My Blog is Finally Cool to My Kids

For going on 3 years now, I've had The Inklings of Life. My kids have always been aware of my blog, know I write it, and live in this constant state of "Crap, I wonder if Mom's going to blog about that" when they screw up.

This morning my kids are were looking over my shoulders as I checked my email, checked for spammy blog comments, and yes, checked my standings at all of the vote sites. The Girl got this confused look on her face...

The Girl: Mom, why is your blog called The Inklings of Life?
Me: Because an inkling is a small idea that pops into the back of your head, so my blog is about these small ideas about life that I have. And, I was a tattoo artist who dealt with tattoo ink all day, so it's a play on words.

About a minute long pause occurred, then suddenly...

The Girl AND The Ginger (at the same time): OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (smiling and shaking their heads 'yes')
The Girl: That makes so much sense now... and is really cool.
The Ginger: Wow. I just thought you named it that because you wanted to name it that. I didn't know it actually meant something.

3 years. 3 years of writing, of my kids being involved in posts, of giving input, and watching my highs when an article gets picked up by a major website, or when a reader emails me about how much I've helped them and I cry tears of humbling joy, and of watching my lows when a post doesn't do what I think it should, or when I fall down on the ranking lists. 3 years, and my kids didn't even know what the title of my blog meant.

I'm wondering now if I should go wake Hubby up and see if he knows.

Good grief. Now my blog is cool to my children. Took 3 years...


If you enjoy Inklings, please take a second to just click the banner below. Each click = 1 vote, and you can vote once per 24 hours. I do happy dances when people vote!

The Girl Whips Out the Responsibility Card on Us

Hubby and I finally got our federal tax return money. After calculating how much we'd be left with after we paid some bills, we made the tentative decision to get a new TV for the living room, as we are currently rocking a 32" one... which sucks because we have a 47" hole that it sits in, which makes it look like a baby TV.

We disagreed greatly on how to spend the no-more-than-$600 we had budgeted. I wanted a smaller TV that had the Wifi extras of being a Smart TV. Hubby wanted a non-smart larger TV. After I fell in love with a TV at the BX on base, and Hubby was leaning toward one at Target, we decided to not buy either and figure out- not while standing in the electronics aisle- what we could compromise on. As we drove away from Target, we posed the question to the kids of which TV they'd rather have.

The Ginger didn't care. The Girl's answer shocked the hell out of us:

"Why don't we not buy any TV because there isn't anything wrong with the one we have, and we leave the $600 in the bank to save it up?"

I'm sorry, what? Did the almost 11 year old just whip out the Responsibility Card on us? Did she just school us on money management?

Hubby and I sat there, speechless. We were offering the kids a brand new TV for the living room- either a big one or a smaller one with internet capabilities, and The Girl advised us to save our money.

Either Hubby and I are really good parents, or our daughter was kidnapped by aliens in the middle of the night and they replaced her with a clone that is trying to learn our human ways.

Don't get me wrong, there are times I'm an excellent parent. Teaching my kids the value of money is not one of those times. Hubby and I are horrible with money (hence the wanting to drop $600 on a TV we didn't necessarily need). I extreme coupon to be able to keep the house stocked with essentials because I never know how much money we'll blow when we get paid every few weeks (plus I love the thrill of getting crap for free).

That's when it hit me. Maybe I didn't teach the child anything about money management. Maybe she's learning from our mistakes. Maybe she's seen how Hubby and I spend money, and then end up broke, then spend more money, then end up broke, and she doesn't want to continue the cycle for herself... or us anymore, for that matter.

You know what? In this day and age of parenting, I'll take it. I'll take the lesson taught to our children based on mistakes they've watched us make. I'll tally that one as a win on the side of Hubby and I... which is why we decided to keep the money in the bank and not buy a new TV.

Fingers crossed The Girl will also learn the lessons of my mistakes when it comes to eating an entire box of brownie mix after 8pm when you are over 30, popping that second head of a pimple that's growing on your face which leaves scars, and online dating.


If you enjoy Inklings, please take a second to just click the banner below. Each click = 1 vote, and you can vote once per 24 hours. I do happy dances when people vote!

Hubby's Family Meeting Fear (An Ink Blots Post)

Both of my kids are currently grounded. The Girl was the first offender, and got a week of no playing with her friends for continuously arguing about me about going out to play with her friends. She got a week-long sentence, and is currently begging Hubby and I for a shortened punishment. I may get an entirely cleaned house out of it, so yes, it's currently under negotiation.

The Ginger was less than 24 hours behind his sister, getting grounded from playing video games for the rest of the day because when he plays video games he doesn't listen to a word anyone says. He decided at 8 this morning to open the advent calendar and when I caught him and told him he was not having candy at 8 in the morning, he proceeded to close the advent calendar... and sit on the floor and eat the candy while playing video games. He claimed he doesn't remember me telling him he couldn't have candy, which is exactly why he didn't get hot chocolate the other night while the rest of the family had a delicious nightcap. I'll ask once what type you want, I'll throw it out briefly a second time, but if you are too busy playing video games to tell me if you want mint chocolate or caramel chocolate, then you aren't getting hot chocolate.

Shortly after The Ginger was told his punishment, I went to Hubby, pretty concerned.

Me: Both of our kids are grounded at the same time for separate offenses. I think they are crying out for our attention. (laughing)
Hubby: Okay, what do you want to do about it?
Me: You aren't gonna like it, but I think we need to have a family meeting.
Hubby: WHAT? A family meeting? What'd I do?
Me: (confused) Nothing. We need to talk to our kids about their recent behavior.
Hubby: Ohhhh, okay. As soon as you said 'family meeting', I turned into a 15 year old, wondering what I did wrong.
Me: You're kidding me, right?
Hubby: Nope.
Me: Good grief. You're the adult now... with kids... so you'll be helping run the family meeting, you gooberface.
Hubby: Sweet.

I realized I must have 3 kids- a 10 year old, an 8 year old, and apparently now a 15 year old as soon as the phrase 'family meeting' is thrown out...

If you enjoy Inklings, please take a second to just click the banner below. Each click = 1 vote, and you can vote once per 24 hours. I do happy dances when people vote!

Men and Laundry Shenanigans (An Ink Blots Post)

I'm a stay-at-home mom. I chose to take the major responsibility of cleaning the house, doing the laundry and cooking.

That does not mean I put up with Hubby's shenanigans when it comes to these things.

In the moving-into-our-house process, we had the laundry hamper in our bedroom right in front of the door because we had boxes everywhere else. Once we started to unpack the room, I realized that I didn't want the laundry hamper directly in front of the door- who wants to see dirty laundry when they first walk into a room? Not me! So, I moved the laundry basket to the other side of the dresser and called it a successful day.

The Laundry Hamper

When Hubby got home that day, he went to throw his dirty clothes in the hamper and all he saw was it was missing- not in its "normal" spot. So, he started a pile at the foot of the bed. When we went to bed that night, I pointed out to him where the laundry hamper now was, and how his laundry needed to go into it instead of at the foot of the bed.

Hubby: I don't like the laundry hamper over there. It's all the way on the other side of the room.
Me: What? It's on the other side of the dresser, not the room.
Hubby: Same thing.
Me: Just put your clothes in the hamper, please, and then I can wash them.
Hubby: Why don't you put my clothes in the hamper for me? (snickering- Understand that while Hubby is an ass, he really isn't. He says things like this in a joking manner.)
Me: Because I'm not your maid. Once you put them in the hamper, I will wash them, but I'm not putting them in the hamper out of principle. 

Hubby's Pile

2 days went by and this pile at the foot of the bed just got bigger and bigger. Every night we'd climb into bed, and he'd say, "Woman! Why haven't you put my clothes in the hamper yet?" I'd smile, turn over and put my back to him.

Another 2 days went by, and I decided to have photographic evidence of these shenanigans. Excuse the mess around the hamper, and the Kitteh in the distance shot. She wouldn't move for shit.

Please note that our bedroom is not huge. The distance between Hubby's pile of clothes and the laundry hamper is about 4 1/2 feet.

The Distance

His pile of clothes remained at the foot of the bed for almost a week. Finally one day I told him that I was doing laundry- only laundry found in baskets or hampers in the house. If the kids have to put their clothes in a basket, then Hubby had to as well, or his dirty laundry wouldn't get washed. I saw him messing around with the pile and assumed he was moving it, so I got into the shower. When I got out of the shower, he was standing over his pile of clothes with this huge shit-eating grin on his face.

Hubby: I'm not going to put the pile of clothes in the hamper because you've been adding stuff to my pile! So you have to move it, now!
Me: (looking at the pile and seeing my pajama pants, tank top and underwear on the pile- the clothes I had just shed to get into the shower a few minutes before) You assmunch! You can't get my clothes off of the bathroom floor while I'm in the shower and add them to your pile. I'm not stupid. 
Hubby: (looking like I just popped his favorite balloon) Okay...

We both laughed, and he picked his clothes up, complete with my newly-added pre-shower clothes, and put them in the hamper so I could do the laundry.

I don't deal with laundry shenanigans.


If you enjoy Inklings, please take a second to just click the banner below. Each click = 1 vote, and you can vote once per 24 hours. I do happy dances when people vote!

Well Worth $80 (An Ink Blots Post)

I used to have a job where I had a conference call at least once a week, on my drive to work (well, I could either take the conference call on my drive to work or get to work an hour early and take it there- I got paid either way, so seriously, it was a no-brainer). Even though I hated the things (I call them Bugs), I got a Bluetooth. I had to, it was a necessity to be able to participate in my conference call while driving 70 mph on the interstate.

Now I'm a stay-at-home-mom who, in the past, spent $80 on a little bug for her ear so she could look like be a (safe) professional. I'm not one for wasting money, so I still use my Bluetooth while I clean the house. Sometimes people call me and I talk to them while I'm cleaning house, sometimes no one calls me, and I have this bug stuck in my ear for no reason at all.

I also use it when I go out in public, usually to the grocery store or Target. I think it's funny to keep my hair down and look like I'm talking to myself. The looks I get are priceless.

But honestly, for the most part, it's become pretty useless. I don't have 45 minute (one way) commutes to work, I don't have conference calls on a regular basis, and I don't have specific times that I talk to people to where I couldn't sit down and relax during the conversation instead of staying on-the-go.

Instead of getting rid of it, I decided to put it to even better use than how people would normally use it. I'll break down a scenario for you:

Woman cleaning house + Talking - Bluetooth device = Crazy ass woman talking to herself
Woman cleaning house + Talking + Bluetooth device = Not crazy ass woman having a conversation with another person via her Bluetooth.

No one needs to know I'm not actually talking to anyone via my Bluetooth nnd that I am, in deed, talking to myself.

So, here's your heads up if you happen to know where I live and enjoy looking in my windows during the day- that Bluetooth in my ear is more than likely a cover-up. There's a 99% chance I'm just talking to myself...

Well worth the $80 to keep nosy neighbors guessing...

If you enjoy Inklings, please take a second to just click the banner below. Each click = 1 vote, and you can vote once per 24 hours. I do happy dances when people vote!

Little Boxes On The Hillside (An Ink Blots Post)

I'm sitting here waiting for the kids to get out of school (yep, Inklingers, y'all are getting an off-the-cuff post) and the theme song for the TV show 'Weeds' keeps playing through my head.

You see, the kids' school is on base, in the middle of base housing, and we are moving one block away from the school in 2 weeks. I've known we're moving on base, Hubby and I weighed all options before making this decision, and this was the best for our family. But it wasn't until now that I truly looked around at my new neighborhood.

Little boxes on the hillside...

Everything is the same. The houses are identical except for a slight difference in color, the yards are the same, hell, even similar soccer mom vans sit in front of each home.

Little boxes made of ticky tacky...

I've already felt like Nancy Botwin with the whole PTO thing. I'm the outcast mom who attends the meetings to try and help but finds myself right outside of the clique.

I definitely don't look like the other moms around here, not covered in my tattoos.

I definitely don't act like the other moms around here with their fake smiles and, "Oh, it's great to see you again" just to talk shit behind the woman's back when she gets out of ear shot.

And I definitely don't do typical mom things, either. I write. I meditate. I glue things onto canvas and call it art. I play classical music for my kids and have them draw pictures showing how the music made them feel. I play with clay (again, calling it art).

I feel more and more like Nancy Botwin each day (minus the whole selling drugs thing).

So I figure if I'm going to do something, I might as well do it right. I'm getting my stop sign red hair back, pulling out my hippy skirts and my witch statues and I'm refusing to fit in around here, dammit.

And they all look just the same...

(There's no voting banner below because I posted this from my phone, but there's a nifty voting button to the right with 'We're #15' on it. We're actually tied for the #13 spot, so please vote. I like the number 13)

Momma's Law (An Ink Blots Post)

First day of Fall Break for my kids, I turned the alarm clock off last night so that I could sleep in, and it just so happened that when Hubby kissed me goodbye at 5:15am on his way to work, I woke up... and haven't been able to get  back to sleep since.

I gave up the fight, trudged off to the kitchen to make coffee, so I could have some Mom Time of peace and quiet before the kids woke up, and there is The Ginger sitting in the dark, on the sofa, playing his Gameboy (yes, we still have those). Not even 6am yet.

This is the same child that I have to practically jump on his bed to get him up on school mornings at 6:15am. But here he was, first day of Fall Break, sitting on the couch, playing video games before the sun had even thought about coming up.

Irony doesn't do well with me before I've had my coffee, thank you.

I've come to realize there is something out there much more powerful, and more prevalent than Murphy's Law, which states, Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

It's Momma's Law, which states, Whatever a child can do to mess up plans, a child will do to mess up plans.

So, here I am, on my spot on the couch, cup of fresh coffee, catching up on several writing assignments, passing around the word that my 5 Things Stay-at-Home Moms Do Not Sign on For post is being featured on Blogher today, and answering emails, I'm listening to:

"No. Yes! Come ON, MARIO, jump! Yes! Noooooooo, don't hit me with that lightning bolt. Yes! Gotcha, sucker!"

And I will remind you that it's not even 7 in the morning yet. So much for quiet Mom Time, huh? Good grief, this Fall Break is going to last forever...

As a reminder, click the link below to vote for Inklings and get us in the Top 20! And, if you could check out some of Inklings' sponsors in the right sidebar, I'd greatly appreciate it. This mom has some bills to pay, and it's free to sign up for accounts with my sponsors!!

If you enjoy Inklings, please take a second to just click the banner below. Each click = 1 vote, and you can vote once per 24 hours. I do happy dances when people vote!

Fall Break??? (Ink Blots Post)

I just found out that my kids have a Fall Break in less than a month.

I'm sorry, I wasn't aware I had 2 college students.

This Fall Break is the first week of October, which actually starts for them on the last Friday of September. They have over a week off of school, and this comes after the week where they get out every day at 11 am for Parent/Teacher Conferences.

This school system is really starting to piss me off.

What school under college level has a Fall Break? Fall Break has always been the day before Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving and the day after Thanksgiving for me when I was growing up. What's this crap of it being in October, and an entire week? This is absolutely new territory for me. I couldn't understand why the other moms at the PTO meeting were saying that this current fundraiser would last until the 21st, which would give the kids one week to get the fundraiser packets back before Fall Break.

I honestly just thought they couldn't read a calendar correctly. Oops.

I understand that budget cuts have run rampant in our educational system. But how are my kids supposed to benefit at all when the school day is only from 7:40am to 1:55pm every day except every Wednesday, where they get out at 12:55pm? I had to go from 7:40am to 3:05pm. They start school at the beginning of August just to get a week out in the beginning of October... how about we just don't have the kids start school on August 2nd, when it's 152 degrees here in Arizona, and we omit this unnecessary Fall Break? My kids aren't burned out yet. They don't need a week break to wreck my nerves. Make them wait until the week of Thanksgiving to have a break like I did growing up, and everyone else had to. It builds character.

The state of the education system is getting ridiculous. I'm not completely sure if it's the budget cuts that are to blame, or society babying this new generation. All that would have needed to happen is for one kid somewhere to say they needed a break in October and the parents sued the school system for not giving little Billy a break after 2 months of school. It's ridiculous.

And as a result, I'm going to be driven crazy by my kids the first week of October. Yay! How fun is that?!

Not if I can help it. We'll have an intensive week of art lessons and reading... quietly... in their rooms... maybe with some survival lessons thrown in... "Mommy's in her blog writing time of the day... you know, when y'all are supposed to be in school? Figure out lunch for yourselves."

Yeah, I'm mentally preparing myself now.

If you enjoy Inklings, please take a second to just click the banner below. Each click = 1 vote, and you can vote once per 24 hours. I do happy dances when people vote!

Funky Sugar (Ink Blots Post)

The Girl had a friend spend the night last night (yes, in our 2 bedroom, 900 square foot apartment- Hubby and I are the best parents ever). I woke up this morning wanting donuts- Dunkin Donuts, to be specific. I threw on some clothes, asked who wanted to go with me, and The Girl and her friend jumped at the offer.

We made our donut run (to find that they no longer had the Oreo donuts- I was slightly crushed), got home, and I proceeded to make cups of coffee for Hubby and I. I grabbed the creamer from the fridge and the sugar from the counter and turned around to find The Girl's friend standing right next to me in the kitchen.

"What's that?" 
I looked down to my hands to where The Girl's friend was looking.
"Sugar"
"What's wrong with it?"
"Nothing. Why?"
"It looks funny. It doesn't look like the sugar my mom gets."
That's when I realized that we buy organic sugar that's still brown, and not everyone buys organic sugar.
"Oh, (laughing). It's all natural sugar. I don't like the white sugar."
"Oh.... okay...." (She stared at me like I was an alien, then walked away.)

Yep, I'm the weird hippy mom with the funky organic brown sugar.

And I couldn't be happier...

If you enjoy Inklings, please take a second to just click the banner below. Each click = 1 vote, and you can vote once per 24 hours. I do happy dances when people vote!

$2 Wasted (An Ink Blots Post)

I'm still feeling like crap from this strep throat, so yesterday Hubby did the laundry.

Let me rephrase. Yesterday, Hubby took the laundry to the laundry room, washed it, dried it, then brought it back to the apartment in the laundry basket, unfolded... Where it still sits to this moment.

Not wanting to look at it anymore, but not feeling like folding it, either, I made a proposal to the kids...

"If one of you would like an extra $4 in your allowance at the end of the week, you can earn it by folding your dad's and my clothes in that basket. If both of you want to pitch in so you are only doing 1/2 the work, I'll split it and you'll each get $2. Whadaya say?"

Neither child budged. Finally, after a few minutes, The Girl said, "How much do I have to fold for an extra $1?"

Seriously? You have got to be kidding me.

"Just start folding and we'll see as you go along."

She folded clothes for like 5 minutes, looked at me and said, "How much is this worth?" It was about 1/2 the basket, so I told her $2.

"That's good enough, I'm done."

WTF???? I figured it'd be better to roll over on the couch and take a nap than to argue or yell or scream.

I just woke up, and when I got up and took a good look, I was not pleased. I should have specified that the clothes have to be put away, too. I just paid $2 for what you see in the picture...

Complete with a Kitteh enjoying the freshly laundered clothes. Sheesh. Be careful doing business with your kids. You get what you pay for...

If you enjoy Inklings, please take a second to just click the banner below. Each click = 1 vote, and you can vote once per 24 hours. I do happy dances when people vote!

The Cleanse (Ink Blot Post)

Hubby and I have decided to do a pretty dumb thing this weekend. We decided to go on a liver cleanse.

Yeah, we're not too bright this weekend.

Y'all know my love of documentaries, right? And how I'm always obsessing about researching stuff. I research everything. Well, lately I've been researching weight loss, healthy living, exercising, etc. I've watched so many documentaries on the subject, and this week, in my internet research, the information in the documentaries finally crossed paths with my internet research, in a way, validating it for me. (If it's in a documentary and in several articles posted online by different people, it must have some truth to it- my line of thinking, anyway.) This information?

Juicing to clean your liver out. I started reading the side effects of a clogged up liver, and it's Hubby and I, to a T. I read the symptoms out to Hubby and his eyes just got bigger and bigger. Then I asked him if he'd be willing to go on a liver cleanse with me for this weekend, which meant he could use his juicer all weekend. With that, he agreed (the man loves his juicer).

Fatigue, a 'spare tire' around your middle, inability to lose weight, eczema and cellulite are all symptoms of a clogged liver. Unclogging the liver can be done several ways (one of them being that stupid lemon water/maple syrup/cayenne pepper fad- no thank you), but the best way is filling your diet with beets, carrots, apples, dark green leafy veggies, and avocados.

Basically, you're filling your diet with crappy fruits and vegetables- and I mean that literally. Cleansing your liver makes you detox your system, to put it nicely.

Yes, a liver cleanse is supposed to go on for like 4-7 days, but we're only doing it for two. Neither of us

The First Ink Blot: Our Promiscuous Neighbor

The Inklings of Life has always been a place for me to sit and write exactly what's on my mind, and every now and then some advice on motherhood and parenting is thrown in. I've come to realize, though, that writing huge posts everyday doesn't always happen.

What does happen, is life. So many times I have had something hilarious in life happen, that I've wanted to share with my readers, but it wouldn't have taken an entire normal Inklings post to cover it. So, instead of just posting the tidbit, I let it slide right on by.

Well, no more sliding. Today I'm launching Ink Blots. These posts are going to be short, sweet, and contain just happenings in my everyday life. It might be a funny thing my kids did, something that rubs me the wrong way and I need to vent quickly, an interaction between Hubby and I... anything. They'll have their own category, so if you ever have just a few minutes and need a laugh, or confirmation that chaos and crazy stuff happen to all Moms (even if the other moms don't want to talk about it), you can head to the Ink Blots tab above, or the category below, and read all of the Ink Blots posts to date. They will be posted at completely random times (I know y'all have gotten used to my morning posts), as they happen in life.

So, without further ado, the first Ink Blots post... Our Promiscuous Neighbor.

As a little background, we live in a 1000 square foot apartment on the 3rd floor. Yes, there are paper thin walls, and we are *fortunate* enough to live next to a very promiscuous young woman. She has an average of 3 new guys a week come over to the apartment, spend a little bit of time (causing us to answer tons of questions with the kids- her bedroom wall is my kids' bedroom wall, and yes, her bed is up against that wall- we've told them she hangs pictures at 11 at night) and leave. Usually, we never see them again.

This past weekend she had yet another gentleman caller, who alarmed The Ginger greatly ("Mom, something's wrong with that lady next door. She's banging on the wall and making funny noises."). That led to a conversation between Hubby and I that's, well, what you might call... unconventional. Both of us were pissed, but not only for the obvious reason of our kids hearing her sex life... there was underlying anger with us both. The following conversation took place: