Friends = Family

I've been doing a lot of thinking about family lately, and what exactly makes up a family. Traditionally speaking, there's a mom, a dad, children, brothers and/or sisters, grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, uncles.... you get the picture, but it boils down to blood relation. Nowadays there are step-parents, half siblings, adopted children and so on, so the blood relation aspect is getting watered down a bit, but these people are still family. Then, in my opinion, there are the people that aren't related to you in any way, shape or form, that through the trials and tribulations of life become your family. You know, that girl that you decide to feed one day, and she never goes away (yes, like a stray dog), or the person you meet in a store and the two of you just hit it off, or the ones you meet online through the blogging community or Facebook that you will probably never actually meet face to face- I'm talking about Friends. (One of my favorite TV shows, by the way.)

Today, I'm putting my Friends on blast here on my own blog. Yeah, that's right, it's my blog, so I can do whatever I want. Neener neener. I will not divulge names to protect the identities of those I'm talking smack about, and yes, I will be forwarding this blog post to each of them. Hehehe, this is going to be FUN!!! So sit back, and enjoy the glimpse into the people who must be psychotic enough to are proud to claim my crazy ass as a friend (scary, right?).


So, we'll start out with Z. Remember above when I mentioned that person you feed one day and they never really go away. Yeah, that's Z. Z and I are 9 years apart. By modern society's standards, we honestly should have nothing in common, but we really are amazing friends. I first met Z when she was dating the apprentice at the tattoo shop I worked at. I needed a babysitter one weekend, and he piped up and said his girlfriend loved kids and even helped out at a daycare once. My kids took to her immediately, and when I returned from my (failed) date, I brought her some Marble Slab ice cream and tried to pay her $20 for the night. She took the ice cream, smiled, handed me back the $20, and plopped down on the couch, eating her ice cream like it was made of magical unicorn poo and fairy dust. We've been friends ever since. She even up and moved 2000 miles away from her home and her family, to help me out in my new life. Awesome, right?

So, you might wonder what the dynamics are between friends who are 9 years apart. That all can be explained just by our morning routine:

Me: (pulling off Z's covers and practically jumping on the bed) Wake up, hooker.
Z: Shut up, slut.
Me: (placing a cup of coffee in front of her fan so the smell swarms toward her) I have coffee....
Z: (perks up in bed) Coffee? I loves you. Now gimme.
Me: (placing cup of coffee on her dresser a good 4 feet from her bed) Nope, you gotta get out of bed to get it. Come to the living room when you get up.
Z: You're such a hooker. I'll be there in a sec.
Me: (walking out the door) Loves you!
Z: Loves you, too, Ma! [yes, she calls me 'ma' as a joke, even in public. We get stares...]

Not everyone knows our 'hooker' and 'slut' calling is our way of showing affection for each other. We carry this banter on even on our Facebook walls, until Z's grandmother blasted me for being disrespectful to her granddaughter once. We explained it to her; everything's cool now. But Z and I have the relationship where we are honest as hell with each other, even if it hurts. She'll tell me when I'm being crazy, and help me out with being more crazy when I need it. We'll snap at each other, walk away, and come back for hugs and cuddles (non-lesbian cuddles, for clarification) an hour later after we've both calmed down. We can have a few drinks at night and she'll take away my phone so I don't send a text or make a call to start an alcohol induced argument, but then after a few more drinks and my reasonings behind wanting to start an argument start making sense (probably because of the alcohol), she not only hands me my phone back, but proceeds to drunk text or dial the person I'm currently wanting to pick a fight with. It's amazing, and she's a true friend.

This is neither J nor I, lol....

Next on my list is J. J and I met years ago, I think through the store I used to run (she'll kill me for not remembering). We've had our set of ups and downs (the downs having to do with a band our now-exes were in together), but we've always been the type of friends that, even if we hadn't talked in months, we could pick up the phone, go have a drink, and catch up on everything like there had never been a break. J and I are very similar; we're the same age, have similar religious and family beliefs, and are both crazy as hell. She expresses herself freely through an ever changing hair color (like me), tattoos and piercings (like me), and a fiery temper (yes, also like me). We both have neurotic tendencies, too, and the first thing either of us do when we feel one of our crazy fits coming on, is call or text the other one for not only comfort, but a quick reality check. J and I can also talk about anything and everything, and let me tell you, there really isn't 'TMI' when it comes to us (put it this way- we've had numerous conversations about body contorting to get the angle just right for racy pics sent to significant others, and yes, we've compared pics). So, needless to say, J is a friend through and through, is standing beside me with this huge life change I'm in the middle of, and is one of the people who has remained true to me through whatever curve balls life has thrown at me, and fingers crossed, she can say the same about me. Kindred spirits we are, or just so effing crazy that no one else will put up with either of our asses. Haven't quite figured out which one yet...

Now we come to K. K and I met through the store I owned (my memory didn't fail me on this one) years ago. Like J and I, K and I have had our ups and downs, but the downs stem more from one of us (at different times over the last few years) just needing to step back from life in general, so the other one lets go for a while. After we're through whatever it is we needed to get through, we're back having our Thursday liquid lunches (I miss those), smack talking the people who we hate in town, or laughing about the crazy thing one of our kids did or said. The thing I think I love the most about K is the fact that she stands behind me, no matter what I'm doing, calmly expresses her distaste or concerns for my choices, and then when it doesn't pan out, she smacks me upside the head, simply says 'I told you so', then proceeds to join in on bashing whoever or whatever it was that didn't pan out in my life. Numerous times I've had to tell her, 'Be nice, please', to which she bites her tongue, plays nicely for a while, and then when I'm done with whatever or whoever I was asking her to be nice about, she says 'Do I have to play nice anymore?'. No, K, it's fair game now, and boy, does she express her opinions. I absolutely love it!! Though K is a few years older than me, we have a lot of the same dynamics as Z and I; she'll text me 'You busy, hussy?', and post 'You're a nut! I love it!' on my Facebook statuses or on my wall. K feels what I feel, too, which is something that has always stood out about her. I'm going through some tough stuff right now, and the concern she has for the kids and I, can be heard in her voice over the phone. It's quite comforting. And K will laugh at me for saying this, but her sons are turning out to be some gorgeous little heart breakers. She needs guns, and quickly.

And last, but certainly not least, is R. We met when she came to get a tattoo at the shop I worked at. From that first tattoo, she swore no one else would ever tattoo her (she cheated on me once... yeah, I ended up having to fix that butterfly, and she said she learned her lesson). We soon found out that we were very similar, emotionally. We both love unconditionally, and stick beside our choices in love, many a time just to get our hearts trampled on. She, like me, used tattoos to ease the pain of heartache in her life, so, when she was going through some tough times, we had a lot of tattoo sessions to talk things through. We've stayed in contact since I moved, and she's been there for me when I randomly text her about the pain or craziness I'm going through. It was simply her positive presence in my life that helped me to recently make one of the biggest decisions I've ever had to make. And she's stood beside me every step of the way, smack talking the people who have done me wrong, showing me support however she can. I hope she can say I've done the same for her in the past. And never tattoo cheat on me again. That's a friendship deal breaker. =)

Each of my friends has an amazing place in my heart, and we're all pretty much cut from the same mold. I have a love/hate relationship with all of my friends, i.e. we love to hate people who aren't like us. That's not a snobbish statement, and we don't exclude people from our circle (I'm currently 2000 miles away- that would be a huge circle), or look down on people, but I've come to realize that I click best with people who don't really click with others. For whatever reason, whether it be the fact they are crazy, anti-social, speak their mind or whatever, most of the general public finds them outside the realm of 'normal'. Why? Because these ladies walk to the beat of their own drums. They don't give a crap what society thinks of them, so yeah, they have a tendency to get cast out, much like I have in my life before. So, I guess we formed our own tribe when we got voted off the island, and yeah, we'll take the masses down- eventually. We're strategizing right now....

But I do tell each of them I love them, because I do, so much. They are my family.